Pesky Mack-cidents

This is what I want

2010-03-25T10:59:00.000-07:00

Why can't I just have one of these? It's the deal! Is my birthday coming? Hmmmm....

King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters ~ blatting

2010-01-20T08:23:00.000-08:00

This is my wordy defense of my personal feelings towards the documentary named above. I only have to defend these feelings because people that I don't like so much LOVED this movie and talked about it ALL THE TIME before I got a chance to see it, so now that I'm not 100% IN LOVE with this movie it is assumed that I was subconsciously, or even knowingly tainted by these losers' glowing reviews. Probably, but who cares? I blat on.

The story being told by the filmmakers offers you almost no new or usefull information about life, America, video games or the world in general. I'm not saying you couldn't extrapolate volumes on the different nuances of American personalities and the development of modern human characteristics or compulsions. I'm saying that the amount of cold, hard data presented over the course of this film could have been condensed into an informative 10 minute segment. You're not watching King of Kong to learn.

Then why? The point of this movie is entertainment. Good guy versus bad guy (or more accurately, kind of immature guy versus infinitely more immature, I may go so far as to say stunted guy) It is an underdog story. To me, and I emphasize, TO ME it smacks of reality TV. It could be because the film crew was magically able to capture the key points of the story AS they happened. Man X picks up the phone to tell Man Y what's going down, and LUCKILY there's a camera crew in Man Y's house, ready to record his end of the call! Nifty. I got the feeling that the 'showdown' that this film is about (which never happens) might not have even materialized (as an idea, because it didn't ever materialize in reality) without some egging-on on the part of the documentarians. *This is a FEELING. Apparently there's hours of extras and behind-the-scenes footage that might convince me otherwise - but wouldn't the CONSTANT presense of a documentary film crew kind of, I dunno, prompt one to DO more in general?*

And then there's my issue with the interview camera work. I may just be sensitive, but when the camera has to be so close to a subject that the top of their head is cut off and we can see their dirty pores and skin conditions, I interpret that as a jab at the subject. It makes me feel bad. Also the locations of the interviews and the lighting of the interviews often just made the interview process seem like a joke that the live participants aren't in on. The subjects would just ramble on and on about life and gaming and pride, and while they were clearly trying to be very introspective and self-aware, but they never caught on to the absurdity of the whole situation. That made me feel bad.

The one thing I've learned about documentaries is that the filmmaker is a character in the film as much as anyone onscreen. You're seeing and hearing what they want you to see. You're not seeing and not hearing what they don't want you to see. You have to ask yourself, why did they show me this or that? So what do I remember seeing? A stereotyped subculture fulfilling its stereotype of being dorky, ugly, out of touch, emotionally stunted, living in a non-reality and totally OCD.

And THEN I think of all the jocky, hip, film-critiquing, movie-obsessed, college-aged, 'normal' looking people all over the place who are going to view these people through the director's eyes, and it makes me feel bad.

My personali-tay

2009-10-27T12:13:00.001-07:00

INTP - "Architect". Greatest precision in thought and language. Can readily discern contradictions and inconsistencies. The world exists primarily to be understood. 3.3% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

Politics

2009-09-17T07:02:00.000-07:00

I don't like it.

But here is a list of my reps and a copy of a letter I'm sending them all. If you're my neighbor, you can send these peeps letters too! I'm emailing them to save trees, though it would help the US Postal Service if I wrote them physical letters. Do you think a letter makes a bigger impact than an email? Hmmm....

Hello *gov person's name*,

I am just writing to express my feelings about the importance of wired broadband access for people in rural communities.

I work for a company located in Ossining, NY and I am supposed to be able to perform my job from home, but instead I rent office space from a kindhearted homeowner in the center of town.

My parents recently moved to Pleasant Brook, NY. My father has worked from home for a company in NYC for over 20 years. There is not one viable internet option at his new home, and he is also looking for office space in a nearby town.

Wireless broadband carriers are viable for casual internet users, but they impose caps on how much data one can transfer. Only with fiber-optic broadband services will there be adequate telecommuting capabilities in rural upstate New York. The introduction of cabled broadband services would also promote a healthy competition between providers that would benefit the general public.

Thank you for your time,
Rachel Robinson

So there's the message. I just sort of made it up on the spot. I feel that an elaborate amount of word-smithing might make me sound less middle-Americy. I first sent it to my congressman, Mike Arcuri. Next I looked up my senator, James L. Seward. They have pretty fly websites because they're higher up... Wonder what it's going to be like trying to get in touch with the people on the county levels?

Hmm..

I just got a great idea. I'm going to start a new blog and sign up for all my reps email updates with the email address that posts things directly to my blog. I'm a genius. Then I can review my local matters and actually know what the hell is going on in this state.

I'll post that link later and if you're local you can follow my NYS rural politics blog. Werd.

Opening Credits ~ Monkey Island

2009-07-12T10:06:00.001-07:00

The opening credits of a movie are important. I don't read enough scripts. I don't read enough scripts to know how many of them really detail the opening credits. But I know they're important.

For the beginning of my Monkey Island movie picture this... The live-ish version of this, up to the part where they start listing creator names:

With this song -

And when the song gets "going" it turns into Bond like credits with Gov, Marley, sexy dancing islanders, monkeys... mystery... voodoo... you get the picture.

Digg Story: Quick Indian Cooking » Khichdi - Rice with lentils

2009-07-06T10:29:00.000-07:00

Latest issue of Natural Health features my fave actress of ever,
Gabrielle Anwar. Coincidentally, she follows an Ayurvedic which I've
just started reading about, and she mentions her favorite food, khichdi,
in the article.

I searched khichdi and found the recipe blogged here.
http://digg.com/d1vqeW?e

---
"Quick Indian Cooking » Khichdi - Rice with lentils"
A traditional rice and lentil dish to comfort you whatever the reason
+1 person dugg this story.

sneak this in...

2009-06-03T11:59:00.001-07:00

100 years ago people my age would be complaining the opposite.

Really, people?

And honestly, I won't believe in women's liberation until time-o-the-month humor becomes mainstream.

(never)

OH Fest... no, sorry this isn't really an Oneonta blog entry...

2009-04-22T12:10:00.001-07:00

My boyfriend want's me to be friends with EVERYBODY... barring sociopaths and Nazis, I'm sure... we haven't really talked about that specific scenario. He also wants me to stop wasting my time with hypothetical situations.

I only want to befriend bright, bitter, intelligent, jaded people who write me emails like this:

"I'm going to Oneonta after work on Friday to see my favorite band in the entirety of creation (wow that's lofty) MewithoutYou. Yes, *** Name Omitted*** will be there. Yes her boyfriend's band is opening for them. Yes, I may have to talk to her or make uncomfortable conversation. But MAYBE I'll just bum a cigarette off of my friend Jon who's also coming and smoke outside after the show and make her feel so awkward at seeing my sin that she doesn't bother to acknowledge me. I have yet to decide."

So the rest of you can fuck off...
(Don't tell Joe I wrote that)

Bad time management at work (Twitter's fault)

2009-04-13T08:12:00.000-07:00

So I am supposed to be close captioning the world's longest and most echo-y meeting. I elected myself to do this for the extra money but it is soooo haaaard to not fall asleep.

I haven't written in a while, though I've taken many showers where I come up with a great blog idea that I just know I'll pursue with reckless fervor once I'm dry.

But once I'm dry I have real world work to do. On computers. Which really makes me hate computers. Especially laptops. I hate my laptop. I need a desktop so that I can stop channeling so much bad energy into my poor laptop that now wants to install Roxio Media Manager every friggin time I start the damn thing up and it takes about five minutes to shut that process down and recover from whatever evil Roxio-based power that is gripping my processor.

Even now I've forgotten why I started this post.

...

..

.

Oh yeah. I am starting a podcast. I don't know when I will officially launch because I'm a very traditional "I'm my harshest critic" type person and I doubt that I will find anything I do worthy of the bandwidth. However I am going to rope friends into this with me so there. I'll end up posting our podcasts just for the secret joy of making them look stupid.

No, that's not true. I think that most of my friends are very good speakers, and when we go out we get almost too enraptured by our own speaking talent and wherever we go becomes a sort of traveling **** and Rachel show.

A podcast is the next obvious step in this evolution.

Don't tell Amber I mentioned evolution.

Also I came up with the idea (which might have been done) of the "Twinterview". I tweet now (which is somewhat embarrassing) and I was thinking a nice way to hone my interview skills would be to do short interviews with people I follow. Then I make them a little pop-up page with my podcast graphic and their twitter icon, a link to the audio and a short description of why they are interesting enough to be interviewed. I would then provide them with the link to the pop-up page and they can put it in their profile or wherever else they want it, or start litigation with designs to have me remove it from the interweb forever- whatev.

The purpose of these interviews would be professional promotion more than exploring the depths of their souls or political views or other smut like that which is best kept to a nice tight Twitter 140.

Who knows. Maybe I'll get other followers that want me to follow them so that they can get a nice Twinterview page and a permanent home on my as-of-yet nonexistent Twinterview blog.

Or maybe it will just be good audio for my next experimental film where I have a plan but then I knock the camera over and my actors go home early and I end with oblique footage of my mom petting her daschund in the shadows of a large picture window.

All this fun creativity and I have to go back to transcribing a budget committee meeting. *Spew*

Nostalgia

2009-03-12T08:38:00.001-07:00

Good blog idea

2009-03-12T08:13:00.000-07:00

So ... when I start my super-awesome podcast/blog I'm going to poll my 20 something year old girlfriends and create some ultimate wedding playlists. I figure if you're planning wedding during a recession the first thing you could lose is the cheesy DJ. Plus now that you can buy one song at a time instead of whole albums... the possibilities are endless.

Look foward to: Great things.

Best MP3 Player around?

2009-03-10T10:34:00.000-07:00

I'd like to get this for my little brother for his birthday... then I would like him to get me one for my birthday.

Then the world would be a better place.

Look forward to 2009 podcast

2009-03-03T14:16:00.000-08:00

As soon as you buy me one of these. I'd like to start a podcast with my friend Amber. I tweeted about it so I MUST be serious. Hey, I'll talk about Oneonta and Cooperstown in the podcast... then www.oneontaonthemap.com and www.cooperstownonthemap.com will link to it and we'll be famous.

Some Ways to Spend too Much time accomplishing little to Nothing

2009-02-03T17:01:00.001-08:00

#1. Read some humorous blogs.

#2. Write a to-do list. Stare at your to-do list. PRIORITIZE your to-do list (this involves a re-write). Get to work on your to-do list, making sure disregard the order you have placed things in and instead do them in the order they are most fun/convenient for you.

#3. Give away your best ideas, preferably to people who have more time and energy to accomplish them. For instance instead of simply adapting the the LucasArts game Secret of Monkey Island to a full length feature feature film, I'm going to blog about it in an open and public forum for anyone who googles "monkey" to see. It's nice if you give them hints at the sheer greatness of your idea (Shia Labeouf as Guybrush Threepwood -hello?)

#4. Isn't there a pet somewhere you're supposed to be feeding? This includes Tamogachis. And yes, you should go pick up that watch battery. You know you've been thinking about it.

#5. Contract an illness. If I had known how to document things in third grade then I would have been able to prove that this is actually easier said than done.

#6. Update your twitter. Make sure that you make allusions that none of your followers would understand. If your parents follow you - swear a lot.

#7. Be less consistant with your daily spelling and punctuation.

To be continued...

Music

2009-01-14T12:39:00.000-08:00

Track's 2, 4, 9, 11 and 12 are great.

Track 9 sounds like Jets to Brazil

Bollywood lovers get fit in 2009

2009-01-08T11:52:00.000-08:00

I love how weight loss has totally become way too "duh" to be a new year's resolution. It's been resolved SO MUCH that it has become unspoken. There's only so many ways you can phrase it. Here are some of my past phrasings:

"I'm going to lose weight in 2003, and get back to my high school size!"
"I'm going to get a HOT BOD in 2004"
"I'm going to get really fit and healthy in 2005!"
"By the end of 2006, I will be able to do a chin up!"
"I'm banning all drive-through food in 2007!"
"Eat great in 2008! Only organic for me!"

So yeah. No 2009 declarations for me. I'm done associating my failure with a whole year. BUT I am not done trying to do all of the above things at the same time and actually impress someone with the results.

Newest fitness obsessions:

#1. My Bollywood Booty workout DVD

I was strolling through Target on a last minute Christmas shopping spree when I saw it there. No F***ing way! I could not believe that someone had combined my love of Indian cinema with my health and fitness goals. I snatched it off the shelf. I was so ecstatic. I called my boyfriend and informed him he was getting me another gift- "but don't worry - it's only $14!"

I was only slightly disappointed that there were no awesomely choreographed dance routines that I could bust out at the next party. But I had to face it - it's a butt workout, not Darren's Bollywood Dance Grooves <<wish that existed!!

I'm out of shape (i.e. 20lbs more than I was in college). This DVD makes me out of breath and sore the next day. And holy SH*$ this lady is sassy. Take a look for yourself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZyTq4Z4NMM

I either want to be this lady, or just steal her eyelashes. This video is a steal on Amazon, though the shipping might bring it up to my Target price.

#2. Starvation - totally getting a bad rap

Though this is very much an offense to people with eating disorders, and everyone going hungry in 3rd world countries, starvation is underrated. I'm not speaking of literal starvation... I'm speaking of American starvation. It's a totally different creature. I guess you could call it "portion control"... but that implies that you just need to reduce everything that you intake into little tiny portions and then you'll be safe.

I personally needed to throw out a bunch of my intake. X it out entirely. No more. Unnecessary.

Of course, being the anti-American hippy that I am, I got this great advice from a book written by an ASIAN. Who better to instruct me in health issues? They've been living longer, and documenting their health studies for THOUSANDS of years. Europeans are celebrating, what... 200 years since the creation of pasteurization?

I got my inspiration from this book - the author is somewhat discredited by the support of leading figures from ....Hollywood. I still give him the benefit of the doubt.

#3. I can ride my bike with no handlebars ~ AND watch TV

When my abs and lats are too sore from shaking my Bollywood booty, I peace out for some nice relaxing cycling. WAY cheaper than a real recumbent bike, this little guy also allows me to make my current bicycle A) useful 365 days a year (otherwise impossible in upstate NY) B) Decorative and C) A conversation piece.

So to sum it up. Resolutions are lame. Purchasing accessories to help with your health and fitness goals is in reality unnecessary, but FUN! Indian cinema is awesome and Chinese zen masters know their sh*%. The end.

Mom called - she says she wants you to blog more

2009-01-07T10:31:00.001-08:00

I had to stop my Gmail from forwarding to my Blackberry because of my mother's nagging. Now she wants me to get a Twitter account. Who does she think I am? Does she think I'm still in college or something? I'm way too busy ....working.

On the topic of Blackberries - Handy little things they are. They are helpful. You never have to leave the Internet behind. The let you turn ANY mp3 into a ring tone. That fact in itself makes them more selfless than any phone I've ever met. But you know what's not amazing? Keypad locks. They are so annoying. Why can't my blackberry just KNOW that it's in my pocket, or in the hands of a small child, or under a blanket being laid on by an obese pet?

Wishful thinking. The real question is, why did I delude myself into thinking that my little Pearl was that smart? It certainly got me into a predicament.

After spending the winter holiday with my boyfriend AND his twin brother AS WELL AS everyone we know within 50 miles of our home, I was beginning to get a little testy. There's really only so many days I can handle indoors sharing Christmas joy and holiday spirit with at least two other people. I try constantly to draw the line at the boyfriend, but he is unfortunately a packaged deal.

So after a day of gallivanting with a girlfriend... and my boyfriend and his twin brother. I am absolutely FED UP with banter. I am craving the presence of only one person. Any one person will do (except my boyfriend's twin), as long as it's in the singular. One.

I offer to drive my girlfriend home after one of the boys interjects with a fart noise. I am at my limit. We hop in the car while impressing each other with the fact that we know the words to Hello Dolly (NO the fart noise was NOT justified!). I plunk little Pearly on the dash an pull out of the driveway. Not 30 seconds down the road I unleash a tirade of pent up rage, all directed at my boyfriend's twin.

He can never leave us alone, everyone thinks he's a weirdo, blah blah blah, why can't he live his own life, blah blah blah, mean mean mean, his only girlfriends have been losers, blah blah blah.

My friend interjects playfully, probably trying to lead the conversation in a more lighthearted direction. I will have none of it. I cut her off. "And another thing...!"

In the middle of a story about the twin and a priest my Blackberry screen lights up on the dash. I pick it up. It says that my call to *Boyfriend's Twin* has been disconnected. I don't even flinch. "Thanks a lot for calling and hanging up, man!"

Ten minutes down the road my boyfriend calls. "Hi. Um. Did you just leave a three and a half minute voice mail on *My Twin*'s phone sh%$ talking him the whole time?"

Wha wha whaat? Um... (my mind flashes back to the "call disconnected" message). Yes. Yes, I probably did. What of it? Everyone needs to blow off a little steam sometime?

I guess the people that successfully blow off steam don't usually call the people they're complaining about to document the event.

There was the brief mystery of WHY my phone called him, of all people. But that was explained by my boyfriend, who used my phone to call his brother whilst I was in the mall with my girlfriend. Why not? He'd only spent the whole day with they guy. The whole last 3-4 weeks, actually. But yeah. Go ahead and use my phone to call him.

But I guess there's really no excuse. The god's of cellular were frowning on me and my bitter ways. I made no apologies, because "sorry my phone called you by itself while I just happened to be expressing negative feelings about you" just didn't seem like it would fix anything.

So I am now a member of the key lock club. You know us. The ones making emergency calls while our phones are in our pockets. At least I don't know any 911 operators, so I'm in the clear.

I guess I miss the 'ole blog

2008-09-30T06:41:00.001-07:00

Well I was looking at my Amazon.com referral fees and I was thinking "wow - I'm a douche."

So here's a genuine blog post from ME to YOU.

The Two Week Plan

One of my (many) excercize advice books wrote that you have to do something for about 2 weeks to make it a habit, or integral part of your daily lifestyle. I have many things that I am trying to integrate into my life, or make habits out of. Way too many things.

Writing scripts
Working out
Eating right
Not biting my nails
Starting a non-profit org

So I've just hung up trying to do it all at once. Because behind all this I have to actually perform my boring-ass job, which hangs like a dark evil cloud over my head. Working on computers, and traveling over 40 hours a week makes everything on the above list 10x harder to accomplish.

I've turned over a new leaf. I'm throwing job hatred out the window (at least... on week six or eight). I've begun with working out. For the next two weeks the only requirements I am setting for myself is to work out. Every day. Go to work, do my job, and work out. I'm not going to fret if I don't think of movie ideas, or learn new vegetarian recipes or whatnot. I am simply going to work, work out, and then play video games and hang out for two weeks.

So far it's awesome.

The point of the experiment is to see if I really continue to have these good habits after the 2 weeks is up. Say, for instance, in the next two week session I decide to focus on screenwriting, every day. Hopefully I will have made working-out such a habit that I keep it up even while I'm focusing on something new.

See me in two weeks.

~ Sore but happy

Happy Birthday Joe

2008-06-18T15:18:00.000-07:00

Do it~

2008-06-02T15:11:00.001-07:00

Edison sucks

2008-03-13T10:56:00.000-07:00

Topsy the Elephant

happy birthday to me

2007-05-08T07:17:00.001-07:00

Slinky pee

2007-05-05T11:12:00.000-07:00

There's Slinky pee on my movie script notecards that I pulled out the other day. Why not write a movie during the random two hour break in the middle of my endless day? And I read the cards and I enjoyed them and was filled with a renewed self esteem. I write good.

So I left the sprawled over the bed (the cards, that is) and Slinky peed on them (just a tad). As much as I am against my cards getting golden doggy showers, I am not so mad at her. It's someone trying to tell me... ummm... graduate from the notecard stage- You're getting nowhere.

I am a big fan of parentheticals (clearly) and it's nice to know that Dostoesky is too. Read The Idiot.

Baking- like neuroscience

2007-04-02T15:11:00.000-07:00

I just baked a chocolate cake (from a box) but got all crazy on it's ass...

I added:
1 cup mashed sweet potatoes I had baked earlier with butter and vanilla
1/3 cup of half and half
2 eggs and
1/2 cup of olive oil (probably unnecessary)

BONUS: I baked it in the still greasy cake pan I had laying around from earlier when I baked the sweet potatoes in butter.

RESULTS: Good chocolate cake. Not so even...grew more in the middle. Very spongy and tasty. Probably could have added some chocolate chips. Then it would have been fantastic.

NEW HYPOTHESIS: If baking is like science then I'm like... Tesla? Haha I WISH.

Springtime Crazies

2007-04-02T11:42:00.000-07:00

I was wondering why all the crazy things I've done were in the springtime, and why I feel so whacked out right now. Here's an article that tells me everything I could have guessed (and a few things I couldn't have).

*Spring fever article*

However, this next article is pretty useless. It seems to have been written for A) Very religious people who do not discuss emotions or feelings or B) People who have gone through menopause. It's incredibly clean and uninteresting, discussing the meaning of spring, the reason for spring holidays and traditions, and really centers around instructions for becoming an optimist. What's funny is that I feel least optimistic in the spring. All this cleaning house and thinking of new projects and the future makes me rather grim. I guess I'm just not capturing that "springtime optimism" the way they're directing me.

*Springtime Optimism*

Here's another article that completely leaves hormones and chemicals out of the picture. It gives a very weak (in my opinion) explanation for Springtime tragedies in public schools (shootings and suicides). Now I am just scanning the text right now, but i don't see any mention of a scientific reason for manic depressive behavior. Basically the gist I'm getting is, if you add up all the listed factors (tests, failing grades, graduation, changing relationships, stress of 9/11) you are bound to run into some kids who can't handle it, and will go wacko. They make no mention of chemical changes that occur in the body between winter and summer. Seems like they're leaving out a large factor, considering teenagers bodies are already wacked out as it is.

*Safe Schools and Springtime*

So, apparently not a lot of scientists think that the springtime imbalance is very interesting or worth studying, but I know I'm not the only one who goes through this. Here's one girl's blog, which reads pretty much word for word like one of mine about 4 years ago.

*Young and Fabulous*

My own personal theory about my own personal angst-filled slump that I am just now experiencing is as follows: Raging hormones and springy chemical imbalances cause fitful daydreaming, and an extreme feeling of unrest. My daydreaming about the future is pessimistic whereas my daydreaming about complete and utter fantasy world scenarios is much more fun, though completely not beneficial to anything at all, and therefore comes with a lot of guilt. Guilt makes me depressed. An extreme case of ADHD makes me only fit for daydreaming, and even then sometimes I lose my train of thought. How frustrating! I can't even sit and write something creative or work on plausible ideas. I just want to go for walks, stare at things, and nap. Good thing I start work soon.

Victor Hugo eludes me no more

2007-03-15T07:36:00.000-07:00

"Sileto et spera"

Be silent and hope. Latin written over the door of the seigniorial mansion of Tourville. Thanks to THIS BLOG HERE I have finally located the text of my next tattoo. It was translated in a footnote of my old and now lost edition of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and at the time my room was beige (barf) so I used to pencil things in on my walls, out of books and songs. Then we painted the room and years later I was left wishing I were still smart enough to at least have taken a picture of the wall. Oh well. And I was right, the text was nice looking. There are many translations of everything, and trying to put it together myself got me things like "Obticeas et expectas" ... just not as pretty. So wow. My mission is accomplished. $100 or so dollars later and I might have a real nice tat. Where to put it??

Also, mentioning weird coincidences between blog authors, there were definitely some Paul Simon phrases penciled onto my wall, and low and behold the title of the blog I found this on was a line from "Call me Al" (I think)...

or Z.) All of the above

2007-03-14T11:49:00.000-07:00

Life Goals-

~Personal~
-Get married
-Pump out some kids
-Have a nice house
-Live in the country
-Visit Iceland
-Master woodcarving
-Have a lot of pets
-Take some yoga classes
-Be very physically fit

~Educational~
-Graduate Highschool (CHECK)
-Go to film school (CHECK)
-Get a Masters degree in *Anthropology/Latin/The Classics
-Learn basic furniture making/ cabinetmaking
-Get film internship/ "BIZ" experience

~Professional~
-Write a movie (that gets made)
-Write a novel
-Direct/Produce award winning short film (any award will do)
-Direct/Produce pointless musical short
-Start a non-profit rural arts organization

"Miles to go before I sleep."

Memorize

2007-03-08T08:33:00.000-08:00

I have decided to become a good/better memorizer. The first assignment I'm giving myself is this poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow- because it's easier to start with something that rhymes- and I like him and remember a lot of his poems from back in school... Like for instance....

The Arrow and the Song

I shot an arrow into the air
It fell to earth, I know not where
For so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in it's flight

I breathed a song into the air
It fell to earth, I know not where
For who has sight so keen and strong
That it can follow the flight of a song?

Long, long afterward in an oak
I found the arrow still unbroke
And the song, from beginning to end
I found again in the heart of a friend.

Or perhaps this classic

The Pasture Spring

I'm going out to clean the pasture spring
I'll only stop to rake the leaves away
And wait to watch the water clear, I may
I shan't be gone long-
You come too.

I'm going out to fetch the little calf
Standing by the mother, it is so young
It totters when she licks it with her tongue.
I shan't be gone long-
You come too.

If you've never read these, you don't care... but I remember them from school... quoting them a million times. The good 'ole days.

And now my assignment-

Seaweed

When descends on the Atlantic
The gigantic
Storm-wind of the equinox,
Landward in his wrath he scourges
The toiling surges,
Laden with seaweed from the rocks:

From Bermuda's reefs; from edges
Of sunken ledges,
In some far-off, bright Azore;
From Bahama, and the dashing,
Silver-flashing
Surges of San Salvador;

From the tumbling surf, that buries
The Orkneyan skerries,
Answering the hoarse Hebrides;
And from wrecks of ships, and drifting
Spars, uplifting
On the desolate, rainy seas; —

Ever drifting, drifting, drifting
On the shifting
Currents of the restless main;
Till in sheltered coves, and reaches
Of sandy beaches,
All have found repose again.

So when storms of wild emotion
Strike the ocean
Of the poet's soul, erelong
From each cave and rocky fastness,
In its vastness,
Floats some fragment of a song:

From the far-off isles enchanted,
Heaven has planted
With the golden fruit of Truth;
From the flashing surf, whose vision
Gleams Elysian
In the tropic clime of Youth;

From the strong Will, and the Endeavor
That forever
Wrestle with the tides of Fate;
From the wreck of Hopes far-scattered,
Tempest-shattered,
Floating waste and desolate; —

Ever drifting, drifting, drifting
On the shifting
Currents of the restless heart;
Till at length in books recorded,
They, like hoarded
Household words, no more depart.

stealing

2007-03-05T08:27:00.000-08:00

The kid next to me was talking about never breathing in New York because of all the germs and he said "I'm like an air camel" ... that made me laugh on the INSIDE so I'm recording it.

NYC Comic Con

2007-02-24T09:21:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so I went to the Comic Con, what of it? It was only one day. I enjoyed walking around amongst the displays, stores, artists, writers, and fans. I did not enjoy being hit in the shoulder by everyone's overstuffed backpack. What is it with you people? Have you no concept of how much space you occupy at any given time? Do any of you DRIVE CARS? I sincerely hope not. I got pissier and pissier each time someone did a double take or decided to pull a U-y in the middle of a high traffic area, because each time I got knocked. I hate people.

These were the two stands I liked the most, other than the Dark Horse, and Hellboy animated stands that gave out posters...

Dumbrella- They had an enticing table that was mobbed by emo teeny boppers- usually not a good sign, but I guess you can't hold it against them that the teeny-boppers seem to be developing better taste. I went to their site and their blog is awesome (i.e. it sounds as if I wrote it)- they are a collection of comic makers with different books and shirts. Fun stuff.

VooDooBabies!- Oh man. I know I was taught that voodoo was wrong, evil, and horrible... but these guys are so damn cute. And there is a disclaimer in regards to their voodoo powers (or lack thereof). Basically this is just plain good craftsmanship and utter cuteness. I could not walk by without buying three of them. And of course my ultimate goal is to collect them ALL. For some reason I am intent on attaching them to the strings of lights that use strings to turn on and off.

So it wasn't a totally horrible nerd experience... but please, everyone, just leave your backpack at home. You weren't all going to a slumber party afterwards, and all that was in there were smelly hoodies and coats, I'm sure. Darn you all.

MISSING CLASS RING!

2007-02-20T08:06:00.000-08:00

The internet is an amazing place, so I just wanted to let everyone know I am missing my class ring. It has most likely gotten misplaced in my filthy house, but there is always the slim chance that I lost it on the street... being that it's not very useful to anyone but a '04 Ithaca College graduate with a b.s. in cinema and photo- the person who finds it might look for me- perhaps online.

so here's my attempt to come up on top of such a search.

Rachel M. Robinson went to Ithaca College for Cinema and Photo, graduating in 2004 with a B.S in Cinema & Photo. She lost her class ring in New York City on the upper East side and she works in the 30's near Penn Station. The ring is silver (white gold) with a blue stone.

GIVE IT BACK!!

Top Astronaut- tonight at 8/7 Central

2007-02-07T13:29:00.000-08:00

With the latest developments of the weird "love triangle" astronaut kidnap/murder case, I'd like to suggest a new direction for the space program- reality television. It has come to my attention that scientists, though they appear so self-effacing and do-gooderish in the news and the papers, have just as massive egos as any other professionals. Astronauts must have some of the biggest of the bunch considering they have to go through all that psychological evaluation before they can even enter their profession. But has this been awarded in the past- no. I think it's time. I want to see The Real World...In Space! I'd like to see a zero-gravity Survivor. I'd like to see Top Powdered Astronaut Food Chef. I think the rest of the world is with me.

You have to wonder if the price of a reality television is comparable to the price of a large, sophisticated rocket. I need some internet whiz kid to find those figures for me. How many reality TV travesty's would we have to combine to make one season of Vh1 SpaceCelebReality?

Also I would like to note that the New York Times article about the crazy astronaut lady was definitely lacking. But in the end one crime expert did say that it was odd that the lady was so prepared, having brought pepper spray, a pistol, rubber hose, plastic and duct tape. He said it was completely unique for a female crime, only men usually plan ahead.

...

...excuse me? Females not planning their crimes? Hello... some girls don't even leave the house without changes of clothing for every worst-case scenario that is statistically possible... You're saying that these same girls, when driven to commit acts of violence, just lose all that "be prepared" and become commiters of random crimes of passion?? No no no nononoonono.

I think that many more females have gotten away with crimes than we know.

maple cheddar heart attack

2007-02-06T06:23:00.000-08:00

Hi.
I know it's going to sound really obvious to all of everyone but me...but if you go to a Dunkin Donuts anytime soon, do yourself a favor and DO NOT GET THE CHEDDAR, SAUSAGE, MAPLE, CROISSANT SADWICH. That's right, folks- SADwich. It's about 700 calories of painful, oozy grease. Not wonderful and delightful like the pictures make it seem.

But don't worry, I took the fall for you, and now you don't have to feel compelled to get it just to see what it's like. Or just because you easily break under the pressure of the advertisements of your favorite establishments.

I love Dunkin- but SAVE YOURSELF.

Still don't know what the title means...

2007-02-05T08:28:00.000-08:00

So I decided to read A Clockwork Orange so that I could act as if I knew more about the movie, which I haven't seen for a quite some time. It was a good read, a lot of fun. It makes you wonder if you are a special sort of person to be able to easily get a grasp of the funky future slang the narrator uses throughout the book. I do know some people who said they couldn't get through it, but I think those people read with a much more focused and demanding eye than I do. I just like to gloss- to get the feeling and the idea. To glaze over and not realize that I'm reading at all. It's as if the book is just sending me the message telepathically.

The worst is when you stumble during this kind of reading, and then start thinking about how strange it all is. It's really hard to start back up again. All of the sudden you're staring at each individual word and they don't seem to make sense because when you reach the last word you can't remember what the beginning of the sentence said. I hate when this happens. Readers block.

Anyway, about the book. It was great. The movie was a pretty true adaptation, except the movie ditches the last chapter. You should go to the library and read the last chapter- then you can tell everyone your read the book.

Boll-ing for books

2007-01-30T14:55:00.000-08:00

So I went to the library last week and started grabbing books randomly off the shelves- sounds like it could end up badly but so far it's been great. I picked up the short novel The Train Was on Time by Heinrich Boll. No idea what it was about. But now I'm about 10 pages from the end and I LOVED it.

It's about a German's last thoughts and feelings as he rides a train to the front lines in Poland where he's convinced that he is going to die. It's kind of strange that I found this book right then, because I had just had a dream about going to Iraq, and I can still distinctly remember/feel the strange wave of emotion that washed over me (in the dream) when I realized that I was probably going to die.

Also I am inspired to write my own book. This was Boll's first. Where's mine?

Psychogenic Polydipsia

2007-01-29T12:36:00.000-08:00

I am going to study this more and have a character in a script who has to be watched all the time because they may just have the urge to drink way too much water.

Water intoxication- not fun!

Here's some bad news on the subject...

Trumpet Two Punches!

2007-01-15T11:31:00.000-08:00

So there was a game I played in... middle school and early high school- kind of a small school craze- called "Trumpet".

The point of "trumpet" was to get whomever you happened to be talking to to repeat themselves. When they said the same thing to you twice, you could say (or YELL!) "trumpet" and then punch them or kiss them or take their lunch... whatever the agreed specifics were between you and the individual. We even had a teacher involved. We got nothing from her, and we never got to hit her, but we DID get the joy of a brief class disruption. Worth it!

Anyway, at the time of the trumpet craze, Malcom in the Middle was a cute little show that most everyone watched on Sundays. In Malcom, they played the Circle game. You make a circle (like an "A-OK" sign) with your thumb and pointer somewhere below your waist, and when you get the other person to look in the circle you get to hit them, kiss them, etc... BUT not if they get their pointer finger into the hole before ... I don't know, what. I forget... I think without looking directly at it. I think it was all about the peripheral vision.

Either way, we started playing Trumpet and circle in conjunction. We intertwined them until we were sufficiently bruised and sexually harassed... Then, as it is with all incredibly good games, they were banned from school. They have been absent from MY life ever since.

I miss them and the people who cared about them. I hope I can somehow get people to play them with me later in life. That will be when I know I have the perfect job.

My boss: Rachel, could you get me the file about the thing that's cool, etc. etc?
Rachel: What's that? I have headphones on.
My boss: Could you get me the FILE about the THING that's cool, etc. ETC.?
Rachel:...TRUMPET!!

Slinky

2007-01-09T14:58:00.000-08:00

I would just like to share that I have a dog named Slinky.

She is nicknamed "Stinky" slinky because she likes to pee all over her blankets, her bed, the floor, and anything else that can fall beneath her squatty little vagina.

But I do like her. Despite the pee. Everywhere. All the time. She's a hard case. She led a tough life, and she is not quick to open up to anyone. I probably have a crush on her.

When we got Slinky she was the shortest looking dachshund anyone had ever seen. She is slowly leangthening. She's five years old, or so, so she's not growing- just losing some weight. Most people get to pack some weight onto their dogs when they bring them home from the pound, but not Stinky- she went on a diet straight away. It is hard to tame the beast.

Slinky is like a teenager. If you let Slinky lie around all day she will walk around in circles all night. If you let her walk around too long she will pee on the floor. Nothing short of constant attention and supervision will keep Slinky on the right track.

Slinky is a good measuring stick. You can measure a person's unconditional love with Slinky. Pets are easy to love when they are obedient or cute. Slinky is neither of those things. But how can you blame an animal? Who do you blame? Her parents? Her retarded dog genes? Is it her fault? She didn't ask to be born and raised locked in a gay couple's kitchen. Anyway, people who try to convince you that Slinky is able to be good, just too crafty or lazy to go through with it, and that's why they dislike her- those people aren't as nice as the ones that like Slinky in all her stinkiness. Those people aren't going to cut you slack, or listen to excuses that involve your feelings. Maybe those people have worked so hard to make good decisions all their life, that the are jealous of the fact that you can love Slinky despite her glaring flaws. What's fair about that?

Well, there's nothing fair about it. I guess that's why love and logic don't mix, and I like Slinky.

wishful dreaming

2007-01-05T06:57:00.000-08:00

So. Last night I dreamed I was in some house (not my own or any I've seen). I'd say it was a ranch style with a big basement that had laundry facilities. It was supposedly the house where I lived. In the basement someone was doing a lot of laundry. At first I thought it was Cory, a tenant in my building- and perhaps it was. But shortly thereafter I realized, NO it's someone famous! I realized this when the famous man pinched my butt. I was ready to be really offended when I realized it was, from a distance, Matthew Mcchonehy (or whatever his name is). I was still offended, but a little more ...honored? to have him doing laundry at my house. But no, it got BETTER. It turns out that it was really Owen Wilson (who I kept calling Wes Anderson). When he came upstairs I put my hands on his shoulders (and he was about my height) and looked into his face (which looked a little warped- I don't usually get that close to people in dreams) and said "I am SO happy it is YOU!" I was referring to the fact that he could now COMPLETELY get me that intern ship with Wes Anderson that I've been pining for.

So in conclusion, Owen Wilson- despite bad behavior- can come to my house to do laundry any time.

American Woman...

2007-01-04T12:12:00.000-08:00

I'm 100% American, which means that I spend a lot of time binging on junk food, and even MORE time talking about how I am planning on losing weight. On my quest to stick to SOMETHING (one or the other) I found-

www.fitday.com

How fun! Have your own private health blog! And it works for skinny people too. Just figure out what your goals are for daily riboflavin intake, and you're off.

You can put that mountain down right over there...

2006-12-29T07:01:00.000-08:00

My dad wasn't miffed when I told him that I was playing the lottery every day. He said "Good for you. You know, if you really believe, you'll win." No sarcasm. But at the same time, this wasn't a little sermon about faith either. Just the facts. Believers=winners.

Well. Last night I got a take5 ticket and went home and pulled out my dusty flash manual and learned about dynamic text and customizing scrollbars.

And today (technically last night @ 11:21) I won $25.

Coincidence?

Work. Why?

2006-12-28T12:05:00.000-08:00

What I learned today:
# 1. The purple nerds taste like alarmingly similar to perfume.
# 2. Everyone has talent.
# 3. Talent will not make you successful.
# 4. Not everyone has perseverance.
# 5. Perseverance WILL make you successful.
# 6. The "#" sign is above number 3 on the keyboard.
# 7. Your worth is justifiably measured by your will to succeed.
# 8. People who can set goals within their means are more successful.
# 9. People who can accomplish goals that others thought beyond their means are the most successful.
#10. Sting is 55 years old.

So I am off to set and accomplish realistic, but impressive goals.

More Blogs!! Merrier Blogs!!

2006-12-18T11:02:00.000-08:00

I love to categorize. Maybe I have a borderline personality disorder! I AM always right!!!... ... ....

So on the right, in my links, you'll see MORE blogs. Specialized blogs. Blogs for bitchings, ponderings, & writings.

This blog will have to be reserved for the most random- like for instance, how upset I am that they have removed the last comma (the one before the "and") in lists. Well THEY can do whatever they want. I'm keeping it. So there.

Ashamed

2006-12-13T06:37:00.000-08:00

#1 Thing I am ashamed of today:
I was crossing a big street and an ambulance was blaring down it. The crossing guard (traffic aid) started tooting his whistle frantically. I did not pick up the pace. I was too busy worrying about not getting an extra job this Christmas.

#2 Thing I am ashamed of today:
I didn't get hired for an easy job that didn't even require a college education. I slumped out on the group interview and dumbed myself down to the level of the most unqualified candidate in the room. On purpose? Subconsciously? To be nice? Excuses! There is no excuse. I did a bad job. Blah.

On a lighter note, I have picked the "mega-ball" correctly for 2 games in a row now. You know, kids, maybe there will be a Christmas after all!

More I-Ching

2006-11-18T11:23:00.000-08:00

I can't really think of much to blog about because I'm too busy worrying about what else I should be doing at every moment. So, to calm down, I am going to do some more I-Ching. Here is the reading for the question of "goals" I asked on November 3rd, while I was at work.

"The Receptive, which moves downward, stands above; the Creative, which moves upward, is below. Hence their influences meet and are in harmony, so that all living things bloom and prosper. This hexagram belongs to the first month (February-March), at which time the forces of nature prepare the new spring." ~ text from www.eclecticenergies.com

The hexigram's name is "Peace" and starting off, it is a comforting message to have regarding my goals. Harmony for blooming and prospering sounds great- especially since I have been battling to find time to be creative (a bad case of "Law and Order" addiction has not been helping). But blame for the TV aside, I think I am having "real issues deciding how to make money AND grow at the same time.

Now to throw my i-ching I use pennies. Heads are worth 2 and tails- 3. You start from the bottom line and throw six rounds of the 3 pennies. You can come up with a 6 (three heads), 7 (2 heads and a tail), 8 (2 tails and a head) or 9 (3 tails). Even numbers get a straight line and odds get the dotted line. If you're wondering why you need 4 numerical values to get either full lines or dotted, it has to do with 6's and 9's. When you get a 6 in one space (as opposed to an 8) you can also look at the character that has that space as the opposite character- for instance, my character 11- Peace, has a 6 in the third spot that can change the whole character to a 19. I guess it's supposed to signify that in that space there is tension that could cause the shift from character 11 to 19.

Do you hate math yet?
But this is why i-ching is great. Not only can you get one character worth of wisdom, but if you have 6's & 9's you get to explore entirely different options, and form links between the characters and their messages that can be molded into meaningful statements about your life.

So my 11 can turn to 19.
"No plain not followed by a slope.
No going not followed by a return.
He who remains persevering in danger
Is without blame.
Do not complain about this truth;
Enjoy the good fortune you still possess.

Everything on earth is subject to change. Prosperity is followed by decline: this is the eternal law on earth. Evil can indeed be held in check but not permanently abolished. It always returns. This conviction might induct melancholy, but it should not; it ought only to keep us from falling into illusion when good fortune comes to us. If we continue mindful of the danger, we remain persevering and make no mistakes. As long as a man's inner nature remains stronger and richer than anything offered by external fortune, as long as he remains inwardly superior to fate, fortune will not desert him."

"No plain not followed by a slope."
It'd make a great T-shirt.

Zorro's I Ching

2006-11-08T11:21:00.000-08:00

This was Zorro's I Ching... Though, I think it applies more to us than him.
see here.

The Judgment

Keeping Still. Keeping his back still
So that he no longer feels his body.
He goes into his courtyard
And does not see his people.
No blame.

True quiet means keeping still when the time has come to keep still, and going forward when the time has come to go forward. In this way rest and movement are in agreement with the demands of the time, and thus there is light in life.

The hexagram signifies the end and the beginning of all movement. The back is named because in the back are located all the nerve fibres that mediate movement. If the movement of these spinal nerves is brought to a standstill, the ego, with its restlessness, disappears as it were. When a man has thus become calm, he may turn to the outside world. He no longer sees in it the struggle and tumult of individual beings, and therefore he has that true peace of mind which is needed for understanding the great laws of the universe and for acting in harmony with them. Whoever acts from these deep levels makes no mistakes.

The Image

Mountains standing close together:
The image of Keeping Still.
Thus the superior man
Does not permit his thoughts
To go beyond his situation.

The heart thinks constantly. This cannot be changed, but the movements of the heart - that is, a man's thoughts - should restrict themselves to the immediate situation. All thinking that goes beyond this only makes the heart sore.

Noblehearted keeping still.
Good fortune.

This marks the consummation of the effort to attain tranquillity. One is at rest, not merely in a small, circumscribed way in regard to matters of detail, but one has also a general resignation in regard to life as a whole, and this confers peace and good fortune in relation to every individual matter.

I stole all the above text from www.eclecticengergies.com, and I hope they don't mind. I think their site is nice because you can throw your own coins. It's very nice.

More to follow

2006-11-06T12:03:00.000-08:00

Carl Lemke Unique Jewelry

Halloween is a spectator sport

2006-10-31T08:36:00.000-08:00

Today I was walking to work around 8:30 and I enjoyed a few sites.

1) All the fancy bakery employees in witch hats. They are all French, and weary of dealing with Upper East Siders every day. I hope they get some extra, French rudeness in today.

2) Some mom taking her two little kids to school. The girl was nothing special. She had the typical I'm-a-fairy-BUT-it's-too-cold-for-just-a-leotard outfit- thick tights, sneakers, AND a turtlneck. What is/was it with moms and turtlenecks? Remember? It was such a dissapointment to dress down your magical costume with those thick, uncomfortable garments. Ten times worse if your only one had hearts or horses on it. I don't care how many times people told me a princess would wear a turtleneck with hearts on it- if it wasn't shiny it just wasn't part of the outfit. End of story.
But the BEST part of this duo was the little boy in the Buzz Lightyear costume, not so much because it was a good costume, but because the pants were so white and flimsy that you could see through to his Spiderman underpants. Whether mom did this on purpose or not, I couldn't say- but it was awesome.

3) This was more overheard- some guy went around the office trick-or-treating with just a mask. He wouldn't leave until people gave him something edible or spare change. He is my hero. He pissed a lot of people off today.

Alright. I'm sure if I go out tonight I'll see more interesting things, but I don't think I'll be dressed up. Me and Halloween are like me and soccer. Used to love to play it... now I just like to watch it.

You can't tell a hero by his size...

2006-10-30T20:12:00.000-08:00

Do you remember the Teeny Little Super Guy?

"Teeny Little Super Guy
Pops right up before your eyes.
He's no bigger than your thumb.
'Snap you're fingers, here I come!'
Don't look in the sky,
Don't look in the sea,
He's inside of you and me.
You can't tell a hero by his size.
'I'm just a teeny little Super Guy (Oh Yeah...)'."

Well I dedicate this post to the memory of my own Teeny Little Super Guy. He was as simple and pure as the TLSG theme song. And if you too dedicate a little bit of your mind and heart to the memory of Zorro, he'll be inside of you too. That can only be a good thing.

Dear Emma Watson...

2006-10-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

I was at a sushi place with a group of friends the other night, and one of them let slip that EMMA WATSON WAS NOT GOING TO COME BACK FOR THE LAST TWO HARRY POTTER MOVIES. O...M...G! I did some online hunting around and it turns out that my premiere source of Harry Potter news (www.mugglenet.com) didn't mention it. I breathed a sigh of relief but continued hunting and found a few reports about how Hermione seemed "noncommital" and said that, though she loves making the movies, she also loves a lot of other things. I would imagine that this news has freaked out a lot of people, so she's probably getting a lot of mail right now, begging her to do one thing or another. If I were to write to Emma to make my own suggestion, the letter would go as follows:

Dear Emma Watson,

Hello, I am a big fan of your work. You do an excellent job as Hermione, though I can tell that your superb acting abilities will take you much farther than Hermione's character, and that you will surely never be typecast as the typical know-it-all. I would just like to impress upon you the historical significance of the Harry Potter films. I can think of no other series that allows the viewers to watch as the characters age, year after year, right before their eyes. (This is a lie. It happened in the original Chronicles of Narnia, and many long-running sitcoms- and a documetary film about some kids growing up) Even still, if the Harry Potter series of films is continued to the end with the same cast, then all sixteen years of J.K. Rowling's work will have been realized in print, as well as on film. Sixteen years- about as long as you've even been alive- and you're considering just giving it up because you like to do lots of things. If the Harry Potter films are really dashing all your chances of doing anything you'd like ever again, than you should by all means quit right now. However, if you simply are bored and worried that your life will never be different, please get over it and put up with the three more years, or however long it's going to take. I am sad to say that if you don't, I don't think many people will let you live it down.

Thanks for your time,
R. Mercy Robinson

Wow, I didn't mean to sound so threatening. Poor Emma Watson was probably bombarded when this "noncommital" news leaked out. I really wonder if she has the backbone to quit like that- I could imagine a lot of crazed people hating her. I don't even consider myself 'crazed' and yet here I am writing her a fake letter. I don't even want to think about how the 'crazed' people try to get in touch with her.

So, all in all, I think this should end my month of weekends (wasted?) on Harry Potter. I guess I've just got to suck it up, realize I'm 23, and get with the program as far as entertainment is concerned.

So who wants to get trashed?

Plane Crash kills young girl's walk to the playground

2006-10-12T08:27:00.000-07:00

Read full article HERE

It's amusing when children get angry at large terrible events for ruining their day. They are simply saying what we're all thinking. I was walking the dog yesterday and a little girl was trying to pull her mom accross the street, heading East. The mom was on a cell phone and was all flustered. The girl was doing a lot of screaming and whining. Then a mom's friend came running accross the street and was all"We can't go that way, there's been an accident. There are too many bodies" (this is just what I overheard). The little girl kept being like "moooooooooom, mooooommmmyyy,cmmmoonnnn" and I'm sure the mom wanted to smack her.

Long story short, at that time I had no idea that a plane had crashed into anything. I had spent the whole morning inside...probably writing unispired blog posts.

But really, once it was cleared as NOT being a terrorist attack, every single New Yorker was just then extremely annoyed by traffic difficulties it caused. Whatever! Not my building! Phuh! ...I've already heard a bunch of Yankee pitching jokes... tasteless!

So this post is for YOU little girl. People are going to fuck up your day for no reason EVEN THOUGH you're completely wealthy. That's just the way life is. It started raining soon after that anyway so you were lucky. It was a bitter icy-cold rain. Stupid little bitch.

Calling all book lovers...please...help...me

2006-10-11T14:57:00.000-07:00

I am working on my online bookstore and I spent about five hours on it today and this is what it looks like (Blarg!) Get ready for lots and lots of broken links! This is really just a crude sample. I guess I'll get the site it's own domain name once it's done and done.

I also worked on my script today but I ran into some boring. That's what happens when you've got all these potentially interesting people and places...but they start mushing together in your mind in the most mundane ways ever. Sappy romance, predictable dialogue...blech. I had to stop. I guess I have to set aside some time to just sit there and think.

So anyway, if you have any links or book reviews you'd like to submit to my site... Thank you, I'll take them. I'll take anything. I should just put a big paypal link that says 'donate money to me because I need it badly.' I wonder if that would work?

...I just like Don Knotts

2006-10-10T20:33:00.000-07:00

So I've been working on a script. I don't know if I'm allowed to say it's even a script yet because it's on some multi-colored note cards and it is probably only the first... 25 min? But hey, that means if it were written out it would be 25 pages! And when's the last time I wrote 25 pages of anything? A long, long time ago.

You should look at some scripts and get an idea of what those screenwriters are up against (or an idea of how easy their job is- whichever) Visit Drew's Script-o-Rama

In other news, I went to a taping of the Colbert Report. FUN. It just freaks me out a little because it's a live taping...but the show's not airing right that second... yet the level of professionalism is so high- they just bang that shit out. Here you go, warm you up, run out, tape the show, out the door, bang. over. It makes me nervous. I don't know why. So if you ever catch the episode with Randy Newman singing about blowing up all the other countries of the world, look for me in the front row in a red tee-shirt... I inhaled my gum and started choking a little during the one shot where a camera was actually facing my section of the audience. Smart.

So everyone loves Stephen Colbert, right? Well he was in Strangers with Candy. If you're like me you instantly get an unsettling feeling you your stomach just thinking about the show. Something about it... wasn't... right? BUT if you're not like me, you probably thought it was hilarious and want to own it. Don't say I never did you any favors.

'I've been there. I've done that'

2006-10-09T07:04:00.000-07:00

I hate every social situation in the whole world. We can thank my private school/ home-school background for this, even if that's really not the culprit.

So, I used to travel in a small pack of friends. This did not really lend itself to meeting new people- tho, we were in college, and did eventually run into other small packs of like-minded (drunk- weirdo) people.

Then I dumped the pack for one friend, and I feel that is really where we were on top of things. Just me and Angela looking slightly lost, chatting without being exclusive, in a formation that suggested there's supposed to be a third person involved- why not you? Angela and I met many people this way and I find that I miss her greatly in this 'meeting people' area. I will also mention she is a cute Asian. I won't lie, I think that helps.

Last night, however, I (for the first time, I think) was out there on my own just trying to mingle. I can't really give an honest description of how it went because in my mind it felt like hell (though, I would like to note that my dreams last night were very positive). Anyway, good or bad, mission accomplished. I forced myself into a conversation with Jon Benjamin- aka Coach McGurk/ Jason. Overall it was everything I hoped it would be, except much darker.

Thanks to this darkness, and my glaring lenses, I also met Merrill Feitell, the award -winning author of Here Beneath Low-flying Planes. She was kind enough to notice my looming alone-ness and have me sit down. Thank God I ascertained that she is a writer and got the low-down on her book because I am never the one who asks good questions- "what do you do? Do you live around here," And I always seem to be the one answering the questions (with the back of my head screaming "They don't care! They don't need the life story! It's just one of those questions people HAVE to ask!")

I don't know what was happening with the punctuation up above...so I'm starting fresh.

Sum Up: Next time I am in a setting where I am suave and comfortable I must reach out to those more alone and awkward than I so that the big karma wheel in the sky keeps turning in the right direction.

Everyone has to get this because I also want to, and I'm flat broke. Especially since I got lost in Brooklyn and had to take a cab home and give the cabbie (who was the nicest guy in the whole freakin' world) some sob story about my lack of $ and he insisted on taking me all the way home and I just gave him all the money I had and now I'm wishing I had less on me at the time, but then again, he was awesome and the whole ride really just finished off my evening of being reached out to by nice people.

The finality of everything non-digital

2006-10-08T12:26:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you know this about me, but I am a film school graduate. At the time I entered my school's program, they were just switching from physical 16mm film editing to digital Mac G4/final cut editing. Students who came before I were spluttering with outrage, and in a way you can't blame them. Our experience would end up being entirely different from theirs- and in their opinion, much less worthwhile. I'll explain why.

When you take film, put it in the camera, and shoot movie onto it, you're taking part in a complicated chemical process that can be completely ruined if you slip up at any time. Oops I left this lever up- no image. Oops I read the light meter wrong- no image. Oops I installed the film wrong- ruined image. etc. etc. For my older classmates, the next step in the filmmaking process was just as infuriating. You get your film back from the lab, and there it is just wound up on a spool. You can't just look at it whenever you feel like. You can't gaze at it hanging in front of you and have a bang-up impression of how many seconds of film you're looking at. Then you must make decisions about how you're going to cut it up. This is literal. You are going to cut your film up and tape it back to together with some expensive scotch tape that doesn't ever seem to hold up well enough to justify the price of it (yeah yeah so it doesn't catch on fire in projectors...whatever). So you cut it up, you tape it back together, you feel pretty crappy about the fact that you didn't get this shot that you wanted, or this shot didn't turn out, or the end of this shot was ruined and you had to cut it shorter than you'd like to... You hand it it (I'm not even going to talk about the hell that is the soundtrack) and it's a finished product ready to be stamped "crappy" or "not that crappy" in front of the whole class.

Then all of the sudden a year later, a bunch of punk-ass freshmen wander in off the street all full of 'ideas' with 'previous film experience' (i.e. a blossoming carreer on youtube) and they shoot their film and they make their mistakes and blunders just as you might have but THEN...they whip out their digi-cam and fudge a quick fix. They sit in the lab on their fancy computers with their expensive headphones and re-use the same shots over and over (something you can't do without a lot of time and more money in the film-only case). They cut their assignments together in six minutes flat and then spend hours just noodling around with their techno soundtracks and excruciatingly long credit sequences. And are their films any better because of this convenience?

Good question. Generally...no. I know that the film-only kids are only complaining because they are jealous (they can't seriously be that concerned with the eduction of their eventual competitors). They say they want us to have suffered as they did- but they hold out that this suffering was superior education and that we learn nothing. Sorry, more bullshit. In actuality, the kids who were going to make good work made good work, and the kids who were going to half-ass it didn't fool anyone before or after the technology shift. There might be a case where somebody had the tech advantage, and that somehow helped them fall into a great movie even though their prior planning and effort didn't seem like it would amount to much. But c'mon- you can't blame technology- that's just good karma.

So next time you're jealous of a bunch of young punks getting the easy way out, stop blubbering and go rescue a kitten out of a tree or something. The only thing that really makes good things come easily is luck. Otherwise you just have to work, work, work.

This is way to long to be considered a good blog post, but whatever. I thought about all of this because I bought some mulit-colored note cards to help me map out scripts and stories (I have problems sequencing events). I felt stupid buying them (poor widdle twees) because i have a computer and you can movie ideas around on your computer any time you feel like it. BUT the computer gives me way too much of a chance to delete ideas entirely. I can tell myself I shouldn't and save everything a million different ways- but in the end I will impetuously scrap it all and as quick as you can type "qwerty"- it's gone forever. Paper is helpful when you're a little manic with your opinions of your own ideas. You can even save crumples. I would suggest it to anyone who's in a rut. Go out and kill you some trees.

Don't slam doors

2006-10-07T20:56:00.000-07:00

My neighbors let doors slam behind them. I wish I could slam their head in the door. Then I'd say something like "If that's how much it hurts, imagine how loud it is!" That doesn't make a lot of sense, unless there's been a study somewhere about the connection between higher pain and higher volume.

I was being belittled tonight for the fact that I own Monkeybone on DVD. If you've never seen Monkeybone, you're part of the majority. How do you like that? You're one of the many. You are one face in a sea of faces. You walked by Monkeybone and laughed it off just like the jocks and the cheerleaders and the nerds AND the Jesus freaks. If you'd like to start a conversation with a stranger, and you can't think of anything to talk about you could say "Hey, did you ever see Monkeybone?" When they say, "no" you can say, "me neither. Didn't it look awful?"

That's how 'status quo' you are. You're just another 'Generic Jim'

Wow. That last phrase brings back memories.

Moving on, I Netflix-ed "Les Choristes" (The Chorus) and I'm excited to see it. It sounds just like The Gridiron Gang, but with children instead of teens, music instead of football, and (sadly) no Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson.

~~**I have just IMDB'd The Rock to get you all a proper link to his profile in case you don't know who I'm talking about...and I have discovered that He is going to appear in a movie (does not specify live-action or cartoon) entitled Jonny Bravo !!! Holy wow. Forget the link- go IMDB him yourself- I'm too excited to be technical and organized**~~

whew, that was exciting.
I guess I'll get back to staring at lists that I am thinking about making of things I could do or maybe should but not all at the same time- or maybe- maybe simultaneously...If I should be doing them at all, depending...depending on what they are and how long they'll take.

Harry Potter Parking Lot

2006-10-07T20:26:00.000-07:00

There's a film called "Harry Potter Parking Lot" made by the same people who gave you "Heavy Metal Parking Lot." If you're not familiar, the basic theme is to visit a parking lot outside of a large event and interview the most avid fans of this event. In "Harry Potter Parking Lot" the filmmakers stood in line outside some J.K. Rowlings book signings and let the kids just gush about how much they love Harry Potter. Many of them are dressed as book characters, clutching wands, reciting spells. One boy holds the book open for the camera and recites the first page perfectly.

I just don't know what it is but I'm addicted too. The sad part is, the movies only make it worse. Those kids seriously ARE Harry, Hermione, and Ron. But on top of that, I actually get to SEE them grow up. They were 12 or so when this began- they're 17 now. Someone popped in the first movie the other day and I just kept saying "look how young they are!" over and over and over.

If I were to make a movie, and the only pop-culture reference in it were Harry Potter, I don't even think it would date the movie later. I think it would be as if I referenced Lord of the Rings or The Chronicles of Narnia. That's how big Harry Potter is. He's epic.

I've been seriously considering how I'm going to handle giving the Harry Potter series to my children (that I might have, one day). Would I have the strength of will to give them one book each year so that their life corresponds with Harry's? Because that's one of the most 'magical' features of the series, right now. My little brother has actually grown up at the same rate as the books have been published. When he got to the end of one, he couldn't just pick up the next one and move on to the next year- he had to wait. And when he did get to the next one, he was a year older as well. Harry's social problems were changing at his rate- he started noticing girls at the same time and everything (as far as I know).

So there. I'm going to post the fifth book here because it's the one I don't own. I need it quite badly. Harry Potter has been taking over my weekends for almost a month now and I need to stop all this blubbering and be productive. RE-reading isn't productive reading, and it was a stretch to consider reading kids' books productive in the first place.

I went beta

2006-10-06T12:59:00.000-07:00

Ok kids, I went beta. If you are a 'blogger' I suggest you do the same. It's useful, though I did discover that those fancy template designers really do know what's up when it comes to attractive and functioning design and color schemes. Thank you template designers.

In other news-read this article about teleportation - it's happening NOW!

Ok so did you read it? Now go to this website to learn what 'quantum entanglement' is. You'll thank me later, but you really should be thanking the person who took all that time and effort to describe such a detailed idea to you. It is complete with illustrations.

I've got so many ideas for posts to come. Look out Saturday- I feel like it might be a three post day- How unnecessary!

How's that for follow-through?

2006-10-02T11:16:00.000-07:00

www.friendsinneedof.com/retrofriend

There it is. Old-computer-game-inspired as well as Halloween themed. Check it out and post to remind me of other super old-school features I have forgotten.

New Quiz- Who's your Bollywood crush?

2006-09-30T19:48:00.000-07:00

If I had the time and energy to creat such a quiz, I would rig it so that my result was "Aamir Kahn"... The result would be typical of the "who's-your-crush" style, and read something like this.

Whether heroically ridding the villiage of imperial dictators, or simply sweeping you off your feet, your Bollywood crush- Aamir is strong, thoughtful, and sweet all rolled into one- with a side of humor! But don't be fooled by his dashing good looks, he's no Bollywood playboy! He'll be true to you and you only thanks to his culture's staunch moral code!

You'll meet for the first time on the steps of the Taj-Mahal. He'll inquire in his adorable broken English about the book you are reading. Sharing your love of literature will bring you close, and sharing a view of the beautiful Indian sunset will bring you closer! Oh!

Did you ever dream you'd spend the rest of your life with a singing, dancing, acting, superstar??

http://mangalpandey.spaces.live.com/
Go hither and see how wonderful he really is. GO! But don't worry- as is typical of any and all Bolly/Hollywood crushes I can come up with- He's old! TOO old! Which leaves me in the much less awkward position of 'admirer.' It's always nicer to not be considered a potential stalker, I think.

New Website for Friends in Need of gets Inspiration

2006-09-27T08:52:00.000-07:00

Alright. I know I just re-did my band's website (www.friendsinneedof.com) but I have felt consistently guilty about the fact that you cannot view it if you don't have flash. Is that a cop-out? I say, 'yes.'

But at the same time...the flash site isn't even up to it's bestest abilities (entirely my fault), and I just don't think I have it in me to carry the same theme (clearly tropica/summery) into the fall and winter with an html site.

So, I've reached a compromise. New html site in a different theme. It's such a great concept. Twin sites for a band that contains twin brothers. Both very different, and yet containing the same genetic information... just like the websites... sort of.

But what of the new idea? Oh, I'll tell you.

Now that the internet is starting to get older, the stone-age sites with straight html line after line after line, are all being replaced with flash, and the like. At least fancy CSS. So you could say that the website of 10 years ago, with it's 16 colors and blocky graphics (if any graphics at all) can now be considered retro...and EVERYONE knows that retro is very, very in right now. Because of nostalgia, I hopefully will be able to creat a super simple site with very little effort, that makes people think of their youth.

And I've said this before- never leave your youth in the car without first cracking a window.

So what retro computer fad makes me nostalgic? Answer: adventure games from lucasArts. Clearly the only company that ever did anything right in that area (I don't want to hear about King's Quest and Space Quest so just sit on it). More specifically, I love Monkey Island. My biggest nerd secret- that I always wanted to make a Monkey Island tribute website (I still might someday), but for the time being I am just going to settle with being inspired by early MI graphics, and developing my own band site. I think I'll draw us as if we were MI characters...piratey, maybe... which would work out so well considering our OTHER website has an island theme. Wow. Here's some examples for you in the dark, there.

DOWNLOAD A DEMO!

Edward Gorey- look him up

2006-09-27T08:15:00.000-07:00

Imagine that it's me, and instead of "school" it said "temporary job"...

No, I'm kidding. It's not so bad. But really, I am right in the middle of two potentially cool situations. On one side I could be living the life of a free-wheeling temp- on a day- off a day, meeting new people, being thrust into new situations with new challenges multiple times a week. On the other side there's permanent employment, safe, secure, lots of co-workers to befriend, and no worry about whether you have the money to pay for lunch out every day. Instead I am in the middle. Two weeks at the same job. No co-worker friends, no exciting assignments. Honestly, what I'm doing today was my own idea. How sad is that?

Pretty sad.

Edward Gorey is the man. I would like to find out more about him. This website makes it sound as if he is dead. It's a shame I can't 'IMDB' him to find out. I know that doesn't make sense...and yet it does. Oh, ok. He died in 2000.

As is the case with Ghostworld, I hold a special place in my heart for Gorey because a friend of mine said I drew like him. It is nice to not know about the people you are being compared to. Then you get to look them up and be pleasantly suprised.

I am getting this calendar when the time comes. You should too. Amazon also has 8 million books by the guy, and an awesome poster. Look it up.

How to increase blog traffic

2006-09-23T17:26:00.000-07:00

I've been wondering about how people do it- get many blog readers/subscribers. Maybe I don't understand, or have any idea because I do not actually read other people's blogs, myself. How hypocritical! How obnoxious! I guess I have to start somewhere. So here, I'm on a mission.

Five blogs I'm going to read, and what I think:

#1 -Youngest of One
This blog is written by my friend Will whom I met through a family picnic (his family). I was very lucky to be embraced by this wildy creative and uninhibited group of people, and his blog is no let-down. Right now Will is in the throws of student-dom, and being good at it. From the sounds of things, he doesn't have much to worry about. If you are feeling lethargic about your life in general, you should read this and remember that you too at one point had ambitions that you could still carry out if you just had a little more drive and imagination. Thanks for the inspiriation, buddy!

#2 Ann Regentin
Now, this blog I just found by clicking "next blog"... interesting. She seems to be some kind of errotic/romance writer. Hmm... not what I was looking for but ALSO not what I was expecting. This is a good lesson in the "how to get more readers" book- suprise the disinterested reader into stopping by for a bit of fun.

#3 English 3810:Advanced Composition
Well, next I looked up chiauas...the dogs... I have spelled the word wrong here, and I spelled it wrong when I searched it- google corrected me. Google is my secretary. Anyway, this blog was cute and "now" with witty dialogue about current fashion. I did, however become annoyed by some incorrect spelling and grammar. There is a lesson to be learned here. As eloquent as you may be, bad grammar and spelling make you look uneducated, or sloppy. I definitely need some help in this area.

#4 Fishing with john: Tom Waits and a Snapper in his pants
Next I searched all blogs for Tom Waits. Twas a good idea. I came upon this blog, which is a video. Another good lesson learned. People love videos, and thanks to the 'ole YouTube it's as easy as 1.2.3. It's also good to have some videos up for linking purposes. I have a nice camera, lots of time, and an adorable dog... why don't I make more videos? None of them would rival Tom Waits on a fishing trip, but it would be a start.

#5 My Sister's Kitchen
Lastly, I was making a chicken casserole (no one seems to do that) and I realized that I should have covered it when it was in the oven. But wait, then the breadcrumbs on top wouldn't have crisped, right? WRONG. First you cover so that the moisture is trapped inside and the breadcrumbs get good and hydrated- THEN you uncover so that they crisp into a newfound glory. Well I decided to search for casseroles on blogs, and this was probably one of the most rewarding searches. I think that blogs work the best when they are helpful, and share data with other people. That's really what this whole 'internet' thing is about, right? I suppose that makes my last lesson to remember and share what little useful information you might have (as long as your not a magician- magicians never share their secrets!)

chocolate pocky- For Men!

2006-09-22T12:02:00.000-07:00

To understand the title you must know about pocky. There's not that much to know but it's sooooo much fun- can you say "HOORAY" for wacky Asian marketing?? I can.

Soo... I'm at work...trying to learn the difference between the sound of footsteps behind me as opposed to in front. Damn the visibility of my cubicle. And my conscience. Damn that too.

I have a whole entry saved somewhere about office-work and temping and jobs... but I guess it will have to wait. Instead I'll talk about embarassment.

So last night we go out to a comic book store (called Forbidden Planet- It gives you your commics in a black bag that has "FORBIDDEN PLANET" written accross the front so that everyone thinks you just bought porn!- {see a comic geek's guide to nyc}) And it's in the area of Rififi so I decide we should go get a drink and see if it's a different scene from Wednesdays (see previous posts). It IS different. We caught the very end of "Oh Hello" an act where two young men act like 2 older men ... a little bit like the like budda" Mike Myers days, but men. I looove this sort of thing so I was thrilled to catch 8 min of it. I had a shot of yaeger and a whisky sour. Mmm alcohol + my low tolerance! Things were gearing up to be awesome.

So after the show the bar was filling up with a very interesting type of people... Turns out it's because of the burlesque show they host on Thursdays. Now there's a show-watching area in the back of the bar- like it's own room- so needless to say I begin to wonder when I see them hanging a sheet up in the window (as if it would not be ok for people to see into the bar)

We're sitting in front of this sheet when one of the comedian performers walks by and stands by the window and just happens to be facing us. I wave (what did I say about low tolerance) and he waves and then comes over and introduces himself. How nice! So we're chatting and it's all...do you live in the neighborhood...no we're supers... Do you have a day job or is comedy it? Comedy has been "it" for 10 years (wow)... I'm going to tour with Demeitri Martin... He's got so many friends because of the Daily Show... etc. etc.

I'm sure this all sounds very nice, but I swear to god whenever I make a comment about anything it falls to the floor with a big fat thud. Oh, I can ask questions and start convos (which manage to sound dumb) but god forbid I end up making the closing statement on a subject, because it is awful. I wasn't so much embarassed for myself as I was for the people with me- I am sorry for them. When did I become the great conversation killer?

I will say it's not all my fault. I think the guy was tired. Because I don't really think we were trying to hard... Who knows, I've never really even befriended a stranger in a bar, let alone someone who you have that awkward relationship with because you know so much more about them than they do about you, and it's not likely to reverse EVER. But I think there were some decent statements that fell to the ground- we mentioned we were in a band a few times...*thunk*...But normally anyone would say "Oh? what kind of music do you play?" ... but no... not even pretend interest. So maybe it wasn't just me.

The one funny moment was when a scantily clad lady said "excuse me, I have to get up there" and kind of kicked us off the large window sill we were sitting on. Comedian Leo joked "Excuse me, I have to dance naked where your sitting"... Then realized that this was exactly what she was planning on doing... He was like, holy shit- i thought I was kidding.

Ah well. Should I plug something? How about a good movie about awkward moments? Lets think...

Oh *F* movies. I just bought shoes the other days...heart my sketchers. THE END.

Welcome to Good Burger

2006-09-16T18:24:00.000-07:00

home of the good burger
can I take your order?

This is why netflix is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

Because I've always wished that I could see Goodburger. And now I can. And now I DID!

He's trying to tell us that there are four clowns and their stuck somewhere because their car broke down!

ABE VIGODA!

I don't know how to say this...
-Oh it's easy! Just say "Thiiiiiiiisss"

*What do you think is cute about me?
~You're head!
*You have a cute head too!
~Haha, well, I try to keep it nice.

KENAN AND KEL IN DRAG!

Naw, man...stuff like that's gotta be ILlegal!

Shaaaaaaq!

I'm a dude!
He's a dude!
She's a dude!
We're all dudes! Hey!

And now presenting- Good Burger, the un-answered questions:
#1: In the scene where the Good Burger crew's electricity has been cut, and they're sitting sadly in the dark, why is manager Bailey holding a guitar?
#2: Why does the Good Burger have a picture of a submarine (sandwich) on their wall? Did they go through that awkward phase where they try to sell "healthy" food like Arby's and Wendy's?
#3: Does a Good Shake involve milk, or is it more like a Slurpee?

I'd like to add more and more questions to this list. Feel free to add your own.

from Ghost World to Lagaan

2006-09-16T17:33:00.000-07:00

Oh movies. I love 'em.

Have you ever seen Ghost World? If you haven't, you should. Maybe I have a special love of it because TWICE in one day people I had just met said- "Have you seen Ghost World? You're JUST like the Ghost World girl." One of them even said "except smaller"... nice...

Basically it's about people who are bitter about the mainstream, and have decided to forgo higher education to pursue... something else. Mostly just trying not to be around the mainstream. But then one of them begins to lose the intensity of her non-mainstream-ness while the other spirals even farther into the weird, demented, and "lame"est of interests. She does this by befriending Steve Buscemi- which is how I imagine anyone would. I must say that I love this movie 100% of the time, but I'm only in the mood to watch it 50% of the time. Maybe it hits a little tooo close to home.

But I bring Ghost World up because in the beginning of the film. It shows Enid (the main character) watching a totally random 1960's Indian rock video. It's awesome. This always made me jealous that people in movies (and who write movies) have all these really select interests and hobbies that I would not even know how to start pursuing. Luckily I went to film school (which really didn't help as much as you might think). However, thanks to my love of choppy dancing and lack of anything better to do, I showed up (with my Ghostworld-y roomate) to see a 4 hr screening of Lagaan.

Oh man it was AWESOME! Bollywood is the bomb, everyone. Just thought you should know. Yes it can be long. Yes it follows the classic format of a Hollywood musical (i.e. story stops when singing starts) but for some reason it's still just heavenly. It also has an award winning soundtrack.

Brief Synopsis:
Set in the middle of India in the past (as in, when the British were all up in India's piece) It tells the story of a little villiage that cannot afford to pay their taxes ("lagaan") because of a sever drought- when the Lagaan is all of the sudden doubled! It's doubled by an asshole called Russel who gets his kicks from hunting, and playing mind games with his Hindi associates (as in "Hey, I'll do what you ask, if you eat some meat...just eat it... it's just a little meat... screw your religion and just eat the meat...) ASShole! So Russel, in all his ass-holiness, gets offeneded when Buvhan (the oh-so-sexy hero) calls the game of Cricket "silly and stupid." He says that if the village pulls together a team and beats them in a game of Cricket, he'll forgive them the Lagaan for THREE YEARS- but if they lose, they have to pay thrice as much! Oh, and Russel has a sister who falls for Buvhan, teaches the village the game of Cricket, and helps to form a weak love triangle- but you are totally rooting for the cute Hindi girl the whole time (even though she's a little jealous).

A brief synopsial Haiku (for those who thought my synopsis was not "brief" enough)

A village in need
Bitish asshole crickiteer
happy ending-duh!

So whether you like offbeat films or just films about people who like offbeat films, one of the movies I mentioned today IS for YOU!

Com-e-dy! assault and battery!

2006-09-14T08:35:00.000-07:00

So we've been going to see stand-up and that makes us feel like REAL hip, young New Yorker's for sure. Luckily, it's also amusing as hell, and cheap! We go to a bar called Rififi because I read about it on Eugene Mirman's website . I heard about his website when he shamelessly plugged it during the commentary on my Home Movies DVD.

Are we seeing how amazing this technological time we're living in is??

So here are some features of the show that make it endearing and worth seeing EVEN WHEN the comedians are a bomb (which they have not yet been)
Feature #1. When host Bobby Tisdale feels that energy is low, he has the sound guy blast Kelly Clarkson's new song (which he loves) and then he blows a fireball using 151.
Feature #2. Eugene Mirman often brings videos to show, which, if you do not live in the NYC area and are sad you might never see them, can also be found on YouTube.
Feature #3. They all stay after the show and get bombed! So let's say you're a little shy but you just wish you could stay and hang out with all these incredibly cool commedians... As long as you have money for drinks, you CAN stay after the show and hang out with all these incredibly cool comedians... AND the place is so small, you'll probably end up spilling your drink on one of them! (History shows there is no better method of instigating friendship with a complete stranger, than bumping into them with an alcoholic beverage)

Anyway, the show on Wednesdays is called "Invite them Up!" and they sell a CD (which I'd like to one day purchase). It's got all their greatest little biddies so far. Perhaps if 12.5 of you buy the CD through me, I can then use the Amazon gift certificate I am getting paid in to purchase the CD for myself!

Either way, you should come down to Rififi (11th St. between 1st and 2nd) and holla at all the great comedians and well-made (but not cheap) drinks.

Sorry about the excessive store-ness. But I own ALL these DVD seasons of Home Movies, and occasionally depending on the week, etc, etc, THEY MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING!

Back in business

2006-09-10T21:47:00.000-07:00

I've decided to turn the blog into a bookstore as well. That-a-way I can share oh so much more with my devoted blog audience (devoted blog audience count is currently at 0).

Todays promo: Iron West

Three reasons this is a cool thing to have
#1- It's a graphic novel. In a lot of circles graphic novels have begun to pop up on bookshelves and coffee tables. It's fun to start your conversation about your graphic novels by saying "I don't actually read comics, but this one is different..."
#2- It was written by the creator of Earthworm Jim. You should already know who and what that is, and why it's cool.
#3- It's quite amusing...It's the first comic I have appreciated in black and white. I've even resisted the urge to color it in! (so far)

2006-05-03T14:00:00.000-07:00

6 Reasons NOT to start a rock band

So, you’ve probably been thinking about the popular music scene, and secretly or subconsciously envying the boys and girls who happen to be God’s gift to the world this week. Yes, you’ve seen them on VH1 or MTV2 or Steve’s too-lazy-to-think-of-a-name rock show, and you’ve heard them talk about how “great” their fans are and how “awesome” it is to feed off the energy of the totally psyched crowd of sixteen-year-old girls, who maxed out daddy’s credit card just to get to the front row of a televised live performance. By all means, envy away. Turn green. Lip-sync karaoke style alone in your room wearing your mom’s vintage leather pants and pretend the screaming teens are yelling YOUR name. Whatever you do, please...pleasepleasepleasplease do not start a rock band.

#1 reason you should not start a rock band: You do not play any musical instruments. (If you DO play a musical instrument -a bandworthy one- piccolo or trombone do NOT count- please skip to reason #2). What exactly are you going to do for this band...sing? Are you a good singer? Oh you’re a GREAT singer? You were Oliver when you were only six years old in the local theatre group’s hodgepodge production? Buzzzzz. WRONG ANSWER. One thing the music world does not need is more theatre kids. Turn on a music video station and suffer through twenty minutes or so. See the kids who are singing directly into the camera with their big fat faces taking up the entire screen? THOSE are theatre kids. I don’t care if they never actually participated in theatre activities when they were younger. They were probably aware of how un-cool that can come off. But now that some misguided soul has thrown a bunch of money their way so that they can strut their creative genius in a new medium, they’ve decided that the it’s best spent documenting how well the makeup artist can disguise their gaping, greasy, rockstar pores. If you have a deep genuine desire to sing- join a choir. There is just not room for one more big fat singing face on Steve’s little emo show.

#2 reason: You are not very good at your instrument. (If you ARE undeniably good at your instrument, skip to reason #3). Yeah so you play the bass guitar “a little”? Who freakin’ doesn’t? It has four strings and you only have to play one note at a time. Technically speaking, my arthritic grandmother could claim honestly that she plays the bass guitar a little. If you cannot actually sound decent playing an instrument by yourself, what are you expecting to get out of playing with two or three other musicians who are equally as bad (because seriously, you seem to be magnetically drawn to people with the same amount of ability as yourself)? If you want to be in a band where you plan on being drowned out then your desires stem from A.)The need to have your big fat face fill up a screen of some sort (see reason #1) or B.)The need to get the girls (more on them in #4).

#3 reason: Your songs are about as predictable and trite as (__enter pop culture reference here___). If it’s all about the heartfelt lyrics that you’ve delved from the bottom of your tortured suburban soul, then your lyrics are too sappy. If it’s all about the upbeat hooky music then all your songs all sound alike. If it’s a subtle combination of the two then all your songs sound sappily alike. I cannot argue with you about this because the human mind has recently evolved itself an elaborate defense mechanism that does not allow similarities in songwriting to be heard by the songwriter him/or herself. Go out and test this theory on a fellow songwriter, and cry like a small boy at the circus when you realize I’m right.

#4 reason: You will not get girls the way Motorhead talks about getting girls. Oh, you will get girls, and then you will get- arrested. Have you scoped out the chicks who are screaming in the front rows of these shows? These hormonally raging minors are your bread and butter, but will have to be content raping only their wallets (it’s mommy and daddy’s money anyway so it’s not considered statutory). And good luck getting the legal ass to fight its way through that pack of hyenas. The cool girls are too sophisticated to get tangled up in that mess- PLUS they just recently acquired over 21 IDs so they like to stay in the back, close to the bar. And you thought alcohol was your friend. Hello amazing segue!

#5 : Drugs and alcohol are WAY too expensive to have on tour. You think you’re going to keep your creative stimuli really pumping on the road by boozing it up and forgetting most of where you’ve gone, but unless you have some rich uncle funding your tour- good luck. The price of gas will slim you down and sober you up in no time. Is it a coincidence that strait edge bands are so political? I think not. They are a bitter, bitter lot. Which leads me to my next reason...

#6 : Your music will not change the course of politics. Yes, you can probably get a bunch of kids to go out and march with some activists in Central Park some Saturday this summer (and I don’t blame you for trying because the fifteen-year-old girls look pretty good in those strappy tank tops),but unless you could manage to book a show at your local firehouse or post-office on November 5th, I’m pretty sure that most of your biggest fans are still too cool to vote. Is this because the media is constantly making political issues seem beyond the grasp of the normal young person’s comprehension? Is it because the band always starts playing off their favorite rock/pop/movie star idol just before their “we have to save the world” speech gets to the part that tells us what to actually do? Is it because political activism is put on such a high pedestal in their minds that if they don’t fully immerse themselves in local as well as national politics they feel too unworthy to cast their ballots? Is it because of an unfounded, perhaps subliminally distributed, notion that voting is something that takes place early in the morning ? Hmm. I smell a conspiracy theory. But getting back to the point- please just erase “Bush sucks ass” from your set list so that we can hear the real gems of your collection- “I want you back,” “I like your butt”, and “please call me” even sooner.

I think I’ve made a pretty decent case for why we should completely cease inventing new rock groups, no matter how quirky or British they might be. I didn’t even have to bring up the fact that MySpace has practically crashed the internet while heralding the coming of at least seventeen thousand one hit wonders who will never even be signed to a label because their seemingly-impressive fan base is a thinly dispersed group of friend-whores who are lying about even being sixteen. I didn’t have to... but I couldn’t resist. So TIVO your favorite band’s performance, turn up the volume, don the vintage leather, and go at it. This may be as good as it gets. At least you still have time to pursue sex and money for drugs.

college and why it is important not to blow it

2006-01-31T19:18:00.000-08:00

I just realized that I wasted three and a half years on the wrong bachelor's degree. I could have studied ANYTHING I wanted and I chose a BULLSHIT major that came with VERY LITTLE TECHNICAL KNOWLEDGE. This makes me very upset.

I want to go back to school. I don't know how all the obnoxious 40 year olds do it because I already feel too old. PLUS I have bachelor's already so who the hell is going to pay for this??

On to write a screenplay. Every film student's answer to depression and hopelessness.

Things my screenplay could be about:
A movie theatre
A dance studio
A band
A group of aimless friends
People graduationg college and wasting their lives
A restaurant
Rich fucking bastards
Nice rich people
Tradition
Cooks
A big manor full of crazy British people
An artistic getaway

I like the last idea... only because I thought of it before now and there's a lot more in my head than those three words. But God forbid the one time I have a decent idea I crap it away by sharing it on the internet! I'm off to a less public word processor.

testing

2006-01-23T18:27:00.000-08:00

Watch My Movie

Yes, you can BUY love

2006-01-10T05:51:00.000-08:00

Our band (Friends in Need of) buckled down and bought a "pure-promo" (for $350) and now just because we're on the front page of purevolume.com we get over a thousand plays a day. It kind of makes me sad, but I hope that even when we're taken off we'll still do a hell of a lot better than we had been doing (try 12 plays a day being an exciting high). When we're not on the homepage anymore people will have to go to purevolume.com/friendsinneedof to hear us.

I just realized that I have been claiming unemployment since November 28, 2005 and I have yet to receive a dime from them. Something is wrong.

Best overheard thing today

2006-01-04T12:36:00.000-08:00

My brother's girlfriend yelling at him about eating six tacos the night before...
"SIX TACOS? wha-? We're going to be like that couple... That... couple... You're going to be the UPS guy and I'm going to be the hot mama."

In the hole

2006-01-04T11:16:00.000-08:00

I owe:

American Educational services...............$16,119.75
Sallie Mae...................................$2,896.84
Bank of America..............................$3,176.93
Capital One..................................$1,809.28
Citibank.......................................$705.00
January's Rent.................................$400.00

$25,107.80

Hey, that's not so bad... that's what most kids come out of college owing, I think. Sometimes even more.

The debts I should pay off ASAP- All credit cards-
$5,691.21

Can anyone loan me $6,000?

Today my blinker finally shorted

2006-01-04T10:18:00.000-08:00

Today my blinker finally shorted out the rest of my car. It had, up until this point only fuzzed out the radio when it clicked (left signal only)...but this morning, she was dead.

I'm going to calculate the full amount of debt I owe to everyone as I start out 2006.

Then I am going to inter-library loan a book I saw in Barnes & Nobles called Astro Fit by Dr. William J. Evans.
(don't buy it yet, I haven't read it- it could suck)