Dear Emma Watson...

I was at a sushi place with a group of friends the other night, and one of them let slip that EMMA WATSON WAS NOT GOING TO COME BACK FOR THE LAST TWO HARRY POTTER MOVIES. O...M...G! I did some online hunting around and it turns out that my premiere source of Harry Potter news (www.mugglenet.com) didn't mention it. I breathed a sigh of relief but continued hunting and found a few reports about how Hermione seemed "noncommital" and said that, though she loves making the movies, she also loves a lot of other things. I would imagine that this news has freaked out a lot of people, so she's probably getting a lot of mail right now, begging her to do one thing or another. If I were to write to Emma to make my own suggestion, the letter would go as follows:

Dear Emma Watson,

Hello, I am a big fan of your work. You do an excellent job as Hermione, though I can tell that your superb acting abilities will take you much farther than Hermione's character, and that you will surely never be typecast as the typical know-it-all. I would just like to impress upon you the historical significance of the Harry Potter films. I can think of no other series that allows the viewers to watch as the characters age, year after year, right before their eyes. (This is a lie. It happened in the original Chronicles of Narnia, and many long-running sitcoms- and a documetary film about some kids growing up) Even still, if the Harry Potter series of films is continued to the end with the same cast, then all sixteen years of J.K. Rowling's work will have been realized in print, as well as on film. Sixteen years- about as long as you've even been alive- and you're considering just giving it up because you like to do lots of things. If the Harry Potter films are really dashing all your chances of doing anything you'd like ever again, than you should by all means quit right now. However, if you simply are bored and worried that your life will never be different, please get over it and put up with the three more years, or however long it's going to take. I am sad to say that if you don't, I don't think many people will let you live it down.

Thanks for your time,
R. Mercy Robinson

Wow, I didn't mean to sound so threatening. Poor Emma Watson was probably bombarded when this "noncommital" news leaked out. I really wonder if she has the backbone to quit like that- I could imagine a lot of crazed people hating her. I don't even consider myself 'crazed' and yet here I am writing her a fake letter. I don't even want to think about how the 'crazed' people try to get in touch with her.

So, all in all, I think this should end my month of weekends (wasted?) on Harry Potter. I guess I've just got to suck it up, realize I'm 23, and get with the program as far as entertainment is concerned.

So who wants to get trashed?