Tuesday, January 09, 2007


I would just like to share that I have a dog named Slinky.

She is nicknamed "Stinky" slinky because she likes to pee all over her blankets, her bed, the floor, and anything else that can fall beneath her squatty little vagina.

But I do like her. Despite the pee. Everywhere. All the time. She's a hard case. She led a tough life, and she is not quick to open up to anyone. I probably have a crush on her.

When we got Slinky she was the shortest looking dachshund anyone had ever seen. She is slowly leangthening. She's five years old, or so, so she's not growing- just losing some weight. Most people get to pack some weight onto their dogs when they bring them home from the pound, but not Stinky- she went on a diet straight away. It is hard to tame the beast.

Slinky is like a teenager. If you let Slinky lie around all day she will walk around in circles all night. If you let her walk around too long she will pee on the floor. Nothing short of constant attention and supervision will keep Slinky on the right track.

Slinky is a good measuring stick. You can measure a person's unconditional love with Slinky. Pets are easy to love when they are obedient or cute. Slinky is neither of those things. But how can you blame an animal? Who do you blame? Her parents? Her retarded dog genes? Is it her fault? She didn't ask to be born and raised locked in a gay couple's kitchen. Anyway, people who try to convince you that Slinky is able to be good, just too crafty or lazy to go through with it, and that's why they dislike her- those people aren't as nice as the ones that like Slinky in all her stinkiness. Those people aren't going to cut you slack, or listen to excuses that involve your feelings. Maybe those people have worked so hard to make good decisions all their life, that the are jealous of the fact that you can love Slinky despite her glaring flaws. What's fair about that?

Well, there's nothing fair about it. I guess that's why love and logic don't mix, and I like Slinky.

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