Friday, December 29, 2006

You can put that mountain down right over there...

My dad wasn't miffed when I told him that I was playing the lottery every day. He said "Good for you. You know, if you really believe, you'll win." No sarcasm. But at the same time, this wasn't a little sermon about faith either. Just the facts. Believers=winners.

Well. Last night I got a take5 ticket and went home and pulled out my dusty flash manual and learned about dynamic text and customizing scrollbars.

And today (technically last night @ 11:21) I won $25.


Thursday, December 28, 2006

Work. Why?

What I learned today:
# 1. The purple nerds taste like alarmingly similar to perfume.
# 2. Everyone has talent.
# 3. Talent will not make you successful.
# 4. Not everyone has perseverance.
# 5. Perseverance WILL make you successful.
# 6. The "#" sign is above number 3 on the keyboard.
# 7. Your worth is justifiably measured by your will to succeed.
# 8. People who can set goals within their means are more successful.
# 9. People who can accomplish goals that others thought beyond their means are the most successful.
#10. Sting is 55 years old.

So I am off to set and accomplish realistic, but impressive goals.

Monday, December 18, 2006

More Blogs!! Merrier Blogs!!

I love to categorize. Maybe I have a borderline personality disorder! I AM always right!!!... ... ....

So on the right, in my links, you'll see MORE blogs. Specialized blogs. Blogs for bitchings, ponderings, & writings.

This blog will have to be reserved for the most random- like for instance, how upset I am that they have removed the last comma (the one before the "and") in lists. Well THEY can do whatever they want. I'm keeping it. So there.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


#1 Thing I am ashamed of today:
I was crossing a big street and an ambulance was blaring down it. The crossing guard (traffic aid) started tooting his whistle frantically. I did not pick up the pace. I was too busy worrying about not getting an extra job this Christmas.

#2 Thing I am ashamed of today:
I didn't get hired for an easy job that didn't even require a college education. I slumped out on the group interview and dumbed myself down to the level of the most unqualified candidate in the room. On purpose? Subconsciously? To be nice? Excuses! There is no excuse. I did a bad job. Blah.

On a lighter note, I have picked the "mega-ball" correctly for 2 games in a row now. You know, kids, maybe there will be a Christmas after all!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

More I-Ching

I can't really think of much to blog about because I'm too busy worrying about what else I should be doing at every moment. So, to calm down, I am going to do some more I-Ching. Here is the reading for the question of "goals" I asked on November 3rd, while I was at work.

"The Receptive, which moves downward, stands above; the Creative, which moves upward, is below. Hence their influences meet and are in harmony, so that all living things bloom and prosper. This hexagram belongs to the first month (February-March), at which time the forces of nature prepare the new spring." ~ text from

The hexigram's name is "Peace" and starting off, it is a comforting message to have regarding my goals. Harmony for blooming and prospering sounds great- especially since I have been battling to find time to be creative (a bad case of "Law and Order" addiction has not been helping). But blame for the TV aside, I think I am having "real issues deciding how to make money AND grow at the same time.

Now to throw my i-ching I use pennies. Heads are worth 2 and tails- 3. You start from the bottom line and throw six rounds of the 3 pennies. You can come up with a 6 (three heads), 7 (2 heads and a tail), 8 (2 tails and a head) or 9 (3 tails). Even numbers get a straight line and odds get the dotted line. If you're wondering why you need 4 numerical values to get either full lines or dotted, it has to do with 6's and 9's. When you get a 6 in one space (as opposed to an 8) you can also look at the character that has that space as the opposite character- for instance, my character 11- Peace, has a 6 in the third spot that can change the whole character to a 19. I guess it's supposed to signify that in that space there is tension that could cause the shift from character 11 to 19.

Do you hate math yet?
But this is why i-ching is great. Not only can you get one character worth of wisdom, but if you have 6's & 9's you get to explore entirely different options, and form links between the characters and their messages that can be molded into meaningful statements about your life.

So my 11 can turn to 19.
"No plain not followed by a slope.
No going not followed by a return.
He who remains persevering in danger
Is without blame.
Do not complain about this truth;
Enjoy the good fortune you still possess.

Everything on earth is subject to change. Prosperity is followed by decline: this is the eternal law on earth. Evil can indeed be held in check but not permanently abolished. It always returns. This conviction might induct melancholy, but it should not; it ought only to keep us from falling into illusion when good fortune comes to us. If we continue mindful of the danger, we remain persevering and make no mistakes. As long as a man's inner nature remains stronger and richer than anything offered by external fortune, as long as he remains inwardly superior to fate, fortune will not desert him.

"No plain not followed by a slope."
It'd make a great T-shirt.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Zorro's I Ching

This was Zorro's I Ching... Though, I think it applies more to us than him.
see here.

The Judgment

Keeping Still. Keeping his back still
So that he no longer feels his body.
He goes into his courtyard
And does not see his people.
No blame.

True quiet means keeping still when the time has come to keep still, and going forward when the time has come to go forward. In this way rest and movement are in agreement with the demands of the time, and thus there is light in life.

The hexagram signifies the end and the beginning of all movement. The back is named because in the back are located all the nerve fibres that mediate movement. If the movement of these spinal nerves is brought to a standstill, the ego, with its restlessness, disappears as it were. When a man has thus become calm, he may turn to the outside world. He no longer sees in it the struggle and tumult of individual beings, and therefore he has that true peace of mind which is needed for understanding the great laws of the universe and for acting in harmony with them. Whoever acts from these deep levels makes no mistakes.

The Image

Mountains standing close together:
The image of Keeping Still.
Thus the superior man
Does not permit his thoughts
To go beyond his situation.

The heart thinks constantly. This cannot be changed, but the movements of the heart - that is, a man's thoughts - should restrict themselves to the immediate situation. All thinking that goes beyond this only makes the heart sore.

Noblehearted keeping still.
Good fortune.

This marks the consummation of the effort to attain tranquillity. One is at rest, not merely in a small, circumscribed way in regard to matters of detail, but one has also a general resignation in regard to life as a whole, and this confers peace and good fortune in relation to every individual matter.

I stole all the above text from, and I hope they don't mind. I think their site is nice because you can throw your own coins. It's very nice.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Halloween is a spectator sport

Today I was walking to work around 8:30 and I enjoyed a few sites.

1) All the fancy bakery employees in witch hats. They are all French, and weary of dealing with Upper East Siders every day. I hope they get some extra, French rudeness in today.

2) Some mom taking her two little kids to school. The girl was nothing special. She had the typical I'm-a-fairy-BUT-it's-too-cold-for-just-a-leotard outfit- thick tights, sneakers, AND a turtlneck. What is/was it with moms and turtlenecks? Remember? It was such a dissapointment to dress down your magical costume with those thick, uncomfortable garments. Ten times worse if your only one had hearts or horses on it. I don't care how many times people told me a princess would wear a turtleneck with hearts on it- if it wasn't shiny it just wasn't part of the outfit. End of story.
But the BEST part of this duo was the little boy in the Buzz Lightyear costume, not so much because it was a good costume, but because the pants were so white and flimsy that you could see through to his Spiderman underpants. Whether mom did this on purpose or not, I couldn't say- but it was awesome.

3) This was more overheard- some guy went around the office trick-or-treating with just a mask. He wouldn't leave until people gave him something edible or spare change. He is my hero. He pissed a lot of people off today.

Alright. I'm sure if I go out tonight I'll see more interesting things, but I don't think I'll be dressed up. Me and Halloween are like me and soccer. Used to love to play it... now I just like to watch it.

Monday, October 30, 2006

You can't tell a hero by his size...

Do you remember the Teeny Little Super Guy?

"Teeny Little Super Guy
Pops right up before your eyes.
He's no bigger than your thumb.
'Snap you're fingers, here I come!'
Don't look in the sky,
Don't look in the sea,
He's inside of you and me.
You can't tell a hero by his size.
'I'm just a teeny little Super Guy (Oh Yeah...)'.

Well I dedicate this post to the memory of my own Teeny Little Super Guy. He was as simple and pure as the TLSG theme song. And if you too dedicate a little bit of your mind and heart to the memory of Zorro, he'll be inside of you too. That can only be a good thing.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Dear Emma Watson...

I was at a sushi place with a group of friends the other night, and one of them let slip that EMMA WATSON WAS NOT GOING TO COME BACK FOR THE LAST TWO HARRY POTTER MOVIES. O...M...G! I did some online hunting around and it turns out that my premiere source of Harry Potter news ( didn't mention it. I breathed a sigh of relief but continued hunting and found a few reports about how Hermione seemed "noncommital" and said that, though she loves making the movies, she also loves a lot of other things. I would imagine that this news has freaked out a lot of people, so she's probably getting a lot of mail right now, begging her to do one thing or another. If I were to write to Emma to make my own suggestion, the letter would go as follows:

Dear Emma Watson,

Hello, I am a big fan of your work. You do an excellent job as Hermione, though I can tell that your superb acting abilities will take you much farther than Hermione's character, and that you will surely never be typecast as the typical know-it-all. I would just like to impress upon you the historical significance of the Harry Potter films. I can think of no other series that allows the viewers to watch as the characters age, year after year, right before their eyes. (This is a lie. It happened in the original Chronicles of Narnia, and many long-running sitcoms- and a documetary film about some kids growing up) Even still, if the Harry Potter series of films is continued to the end with the same cast, then all sixteen years of J.K. Rowling's work will have been realized in print, as well as on film. Sixteen years- about as long as you've even been alive- and you're considering just giving it up because you like to do lots of things. If the Harry Potter films are really dashing all your chances of doing anything you'd like ever again, than you should by all means quit right now. However, if you simply are bored and worried that your life will never be different, please get over it and put up with the three more years, or however long it's going to take. I am sad to say that if you don't, I don't think many people will let you live it down.

Thanks for your time,
R. Mercy Robinson

Wow, I didn't mean to sound so threatening. Poor Emma Watson was probably bombarded when this "noncommital" news leaked out. I really wonder if she has the backbone to quit like that- I could imagine a lot of crazed people hating her. I don't even consider myself 'crazed' and yet here I am writing her a fake letter. I don't even want to think about how the 'crazed' people try to get in touch with her.

So, all in all, I think this should end my month of weekends (wasted?) on Harry Potter. I guess I've just got to suck it up, realize I'm 23, and get with the program as far as entertainment is concerned.

So who wants to get trashed?

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Plane Crash kills young girl's walk to the playground

Read full article HERE

It's amusing when children get angry at large terrible events for ruining their day. They are simply saying what we're all thinking. I was walking the dog yesterday and a little girl was trying to pull her mom accross the street, heading East. The mom was on a cell phone and was all flustered. The girl was doing a lot of screaming and whining. Then a mom's friend came running accross the street and was all"We can't go that way, there's been an accident. There are too many bodies" (this is just what I overheard). The little girl kept being like "moooooooooom, mooooommmmyyy,cmmmoonnnn" and I'm sure the mom wanted to smack her.

Long story short, at that time I had no idea that a plane had crashed into anything. I had spent the whole morning inside...probably writing unispired blog posts.

But really, once it was cleared as NOT being a terrorist attack, every single New Yorker was just then extremely annoyed by traffic difficulties it caused. Whatever! Not my building! Phuh! ...I've already heard a bunch of Yankee pitching jokes... tasteless!

So this post is for YOU little girl. People are going to fuck up your day for no reason EVEN THOUGH you're completely wealthy. That's just the way life is. It started raining soon after that anyway so you were lucky. It was a bitter icy-cold rain. Stupid little bitch.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Calling all book

I am working on my online bookstore and I spent about five hours on it today and this is what it looks like (Blarg!) Get ready for lots and lots of broken links! This is really just a crude sample. I guess I'll get the site it's own domain name once it's done and done.

I also worked on my script today but I ran into some boring. That's what happens when you've got all these potentially interesting people and places...but they start mushing together in your mind in the most mundane ways ever. Sappy romance, predictable dialogue...blech. I had to stop. I guess I have to set aside some time to just sit there and think.

So anyway, if you have any links or book reviews you'd like to submit to my site... Thank you, I'll take them. I'll take anything. I should just put a big paypal link that says 'donate money to me because I need it badly.' I wonder if that would work?

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

...I just like Don Knotts

So I've been working on a script. I don't know if I'm allowed to say it's even a script yet because it's on some multi-colored note cards and it is probably only the first... 25 min? But hey, that means if it were written out it would be 25 pages! And when's the last time I wrote 25 pages of anything? A long, long time ago.

You should look at some scripts and get an idea of what those screenwriters are up against (or an idea of how easy their job is- whichever) Visit Drew's Script-o-Rama

In other news, I went to a taping of the Colbert Report. FUN. It just freaks me out a little because it's a live taping...but the show's not airing right that second... yet the level of professionalism is so high- they just bang that shit out. Here you go, warm you up, run out, tape the show, out the door, bang. over. It makes me nervous. I don't know why. So if you ever catch the episode with Randy Newman singing about blowing up all the other countries of the world, look for me in the front row in a red tee-shirt... I inhaled my gum and started choking a little during the one shot where a camera was actually facing my section of the audience. Smart.

So everyone loves Stephen Colbert, right? Well he was in Strangers with Candy. If you're like me you instantly get an unsettling feeling you your stomach just thinking about the show. Something about it... wasn't... right? BUT if you're not like me, you probably thought it was hilarious and want to own it. Don't say I never did you any favors.

Monday, October 09, 2006

'I've been there. I've done that'

I hate every social situation in the whole world. We can thank my private school/ home-school background for this, even if that's really not the culprit.

So, I used to travel in a small pack of friends. This did not really lend itself to meeting new people- tho, we were in college, and did eventually run into other small packs of like-minded (drunk- weirdo) people.

Then I dumped the pack for one friend, and I feel that is really where we were on top of things. Just me and Angela looking slightly lost, chatting without being exclusive, in a formation that suggested there's supposed to be a third person involved- why not you? Angela and I met many people this way and I find that I miss her greatly in this 'meeting people' area. I will also mention she is a cute Asian. I won't lie, I think that helps.

Last night, however, I (for the first time, I think) was out there on my own just trying to mingle. I can't really give an honest description of how it went because in my mind it felt like hell (though, I would like to note that my dreams last night were very positive). Anyway, good or bad, mission accomplished. I forced myself into a conversation with Jon Benjamin- aka Coach McGurk/ Jason. Overall it was everything I hoped it would be, except much darker.

Thanks to this darkness, and my glaring lenses, I also met Merrill Feitell, the award -winning author of Here Beneath Low-flying Planes. She was kind enough to notice my looming alone-ness and have me sit down. Thank God I ascertained that she is a writer and got the low-down on her book because I am never the one who asks good questions- "what do you do? Do you live around here," And I always seem to be the one answering the questions (with the back of my head screaming "They don't care! They don't need the life story! It's just one of those questions people HAVE to ask!")

I don't know what was happening with the punctuation up I'm starting fresh.

Sum Up: Next time I am in a setting where I am suave and comfortable I must reach out to those more alone and awkward than I so that the big karma wheel in the sky keeps turning in the right direction.

Everyone has to get this because I also want to, and I'm flat broke. Especially since I got lost in Brooklyn and had to take a cab home and give the cabbie (who was the nicest guy in the whole freakin' world) some sob story about my lack of $ and he insisted on taking me all the way home and I just gave him all the money I had and now I'm wishing I had less on me at the time, but then again, he was awesome and the whole ride really just finished off my evening of being reached out to by nice people.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

The finality of everything non-digital

I don't know if you know this about me, but I am a film school graduate. At the time I entered my school's program, they were just switching from physical 16mm film editing to digital Mac G4/final cut editing. Students who came before I were spluttering with outrage, and in a way you can't blame them. Our experience would end up being entirely different from theirs- and in their opinion, much less worthwhile. I'll explain why.

When you take film, put it in the camera, and shoot movie onto it, you're taking part in a complicated chemical process that can be completely ruined if you slip up at any time. Oops I left this lever up- no image. Oops I read the light meter wrong- no image. Oops I installed the film wrong- ruined image. etc. etc. For my older classmates, the next step in the filmmaking process was just as infuriating. You get your film back from the lab, and there it is just wound up on a spool. You can't just look at it whenever you feel like. You can't gaze at it hanging in front of you and have a bang-up impression of how many seconds of film you're looking at. Then you must make decisions about how you're going to cut it up. This is literal. You are going to cut your film up and tape it back to together with some expensive scotch tape that doesn't ever seem to hold up well enough to justify the price of it (yeah yeah so it doesn't catch on fire in projectors...whatever). So you cut it up, you tape it back together, you feel pretty crappy about the fact that you didn't get this shot that you wanted, or this shot didn't turn out, or the end of this shot was ruined and you had to cut it shorter than you'd like to... You hand it it (I'm not even going to talk about the hell that is the soundtrack) and it's a finished product ready to be stamped "crappy" or "not that crappy" in front of the whole class.

Then all of the sudden a year later, a bunch of punk-ass freshmen wander in off the street all full of 'ideas' with 'previous film experience' (i.e. a blossoming carreer on youtube) and they shoot their film and they make their mistakes and blunders just as you might have but THEN...they whip out their digi-cam and fudge a quick fix. They sit in the lab on their fancy computers with their expensive headphones and re-use the same shots over and over (something you can't do without a lot of time and more money in the film-only case). They cut their assignments together in six minutes flat and then spend hours just noodling around with their techno soundtracks and excruciatingly long credit sequences. And are their films any better because of this convenience?

Good question. I know that the film-only kids are only complaining because they are jealous (they can't seriously be that concerned with the eduction of their eventual competitors). They say they want us to have suffered as they did- but they hold out that this suffering was superior education and that we learn nothing. Sorry, more bullshit. In actuality, the kids who were going to make good work made good work, and the kids who were going to half-ass it didn't fool anyone before or after the technology shift. There might be a case where somebody had the tech advantage, and that somehow helped them fall into a great movie even though their prior planning and effort didn't seem like it would amount to much. But c'mon- you can't blame technology- that's just good karma.

So next time you're jealous of a bunch of young punks getting the easy way out, stop blubbering and go rescue a kitten out of a tree or something. The only thing that really makes good things come easily is luck. Otherwise you just have to work, work, work.

This is way to long to be considered a good blog post, but whatever. I thought about all of this because I bought some mulit-colored note cards to help me map out scripts and stories (I have problems sequencing events). I felt stupid buying them (poor widdle twees) because i have a computer and you can movie ideas around on your computer any time you feel like it. BUT the computer gives me way too much of a chance to delete ideas entirely. I can tell myself I shouldn't and save everything a million different ways- but in the end I will impetuously scrap it all and as quick as you can type "qwerty"- it's gone forever. Paper is helpful when you're a little manic with your opinions of your own ideas. You can even save crumples. I would suggest it to anyone who's in a rut. Go out and kill you some trees.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Don't slam doors

My neighbors let doors slam behind them. I wish I could slam their head in the door. Then I'd say something like "If that's how much it hurts, imagine how loud it is!" That doesn't make a lot of sense, unless there's been a study somewhere about the connection between higher pain and higher volume.

I was being belittled tonight for the fact that I own Monkeybone on DVD. If you've never seen Monkeybone, you're part of the majority. How do you like that? You're one of the many. You are one face in a sea of faces. You walked by Monkeybone and laughed it off just like the jocks and the cheerleaders and the nerds AND the Jesus freaks. If you'd like to start a conversation with a stranger, and you can't think of anything to talk about you could say "Hey, did you ever see Monkeybone?" When they say, "no" you can say, "me neither. Didn't it look awful?"

That's how 'status quo' you are. You're just another 'Generic Jim'

Wow. That last phrase brings back memories.

Moving on, I Netflix-ed "Les Choristes" (The Chorus) and I'm excited to see it. It sounds just like The Gridiron Gang, but with children instead of teens, music instead of football, and (sadly) no Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson.

~~**I have just IMDB'd The Rock to get you all a proper link to his profile in case you don't know who I'm talking about...and I have discovered that He is going to appear in a movie (does not specify live-action or cartoon) entitled Jonny Bravo !!! Holy wow. Forget the link- go IMDB him yourself- I'm too excited to be technical and organized**~~

whew, that was exciting.
I guess I'll get back to staring at lists that I am thinking about making of things I could do or maybe should but not all at the same time- or maybe- maybe simultaneously...If I should be doing them at all, depending...depending on what they are and how long they'll take.

Harry Potter Parking Lot

There's a film called "Harry Potter Parking Lot" made by the same people who gave you "Heavy Metal Parking Lot." If you're not familiar, the basic theme is to visit a parking lot outside of a large event and interview the most avid fans of this event. In "Harry Potter Parking Lot" the filmmakers stood in line outside some J.K. Rowlings book signings and let the kids just gush about how much they love Harry Potter. Many of them are dressed as book characters, clutching wands, reciting spells. One boy holds the book open for the camera and recites the first page perfectly.

I just don't know what it is but I'm addicted too. The sad part is, the movies only make it worse. Those kids seriously ARE Harry, Hermione, and Ron. But on top of that, I actually get to SEE them grow up. They were 12 or so when this began- they're 17 now. Someone popped in the first movie the other day and I just kept saying "look how young they are!" over and over and over.

If I were to make a movie, and the only pop-culture reference in it were Harry Potter, I don't even think it would date the movie later. I think it would be as if I referenced Lord of the Rings or The Chronicles of Narnia. That's how big Harry Potter is. He's epic.

I've been seriously considering how I'm going to handle giving the Harry Potter series to my children (that I might have, one day). Would I have the strength of will to give them one book each year so that their life corresponds with Harry's? Because that's one of the most 'magical' features of the series, right now. My little brother has actually grown up at the same rate as the books have been published. When he got to the end of one, he couldn't just pick up the next one and move on to the next year- he had to wait. And when he did get to the next one, he was a year older as well. Harry's social problems were changing at his rate- he started noticing girls at the same time and everything (as far as I know).

So there. I'm going to post the fifth book here because it's the one I don't own. I need it quite badly. Harry Potter has been taking over my weekends for almost a month now and I need to stop all this blubbering and be productive. RE-reading isn't productive reading, and it was a stretch to consider reading kids' books productive in the first place.

Friday, October 06, 2006

I went beta

Ok kids, I went beta. If you are a 'blogger' I suggest you do the same. It's useful, though I did discover that those fancy template designers really do know what's up when it comes to attractive and functioning design and color schemes. Thank you template designers.

In other news-read this article about teleportation - it's happening NOW!

Ok so did you read it? Now go to this website to learn what 'quantum entanglement' is. You'll thank me later, but you really should be thanking the person who took all that time and effort to describe such a detailed idea to you. It is complete with illustrations.

I've got so many ideas for posts to come. Look out Saturday- I feel like it might be a three post day- How unnecessary!

Monday, October 02, 2006

How's that for follow-through?

There it is. Old-computer-game-inspired as well as Halloween themed. Check it out and post to remind me of other super old-school features I have forgotten.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

New Quiz- Who's your Bollywood crush?

If I had the time and energy to creat such a quiz, I would rig it so that my result was "Aamir Kahn"... The result would be typical of the "who's-your-crush" style, and read something like this.

Whether heroically ridding the villiage of imperial dictators, or simply sweeping you off your feet, your Bollywood crush- Aamir is strong, thoughtful, and sweet all rolled into one- with a side of humor! But don't be fooled by his dashing good looks, he's no Bollywood playboy! He'll be true to you and you only thanks to his culture's staunch moral code!

You'll meet for the first time on the steps of the Taj-Mahal. He'll inquire in his adorable broken English about the book you are reading. Sharing your love of literature will bring you close, and sharing a view of the beautiful Indian sunset will bring you closer! Oh!

Did you ever dream you'd spend the rest of your life with a singing, dancing, acting, superstar??
Go hither and see how wonderful he really is. GO! But don't worry- as is typical of any and all Bolly/Hollywood crushes I can come up with- He's old! TOO old! Which leaves me in the much less awkward position of 'admirer.' It's always nicer to not be considered a potential stalker, I think.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

New Website for Friends in Need of gets Inspiration

Alright. I know I just re-did my band's website ( but I have felt consistently guilty about the fact that you cannot view it if you don't have flash. Is that a cop-out? I say, 'yes.'

But at the same time...the flash site isn't even up to it's bestest abilities (entirely my fault), and I just don't think I have it in me to carry the same theme (clearly tropica/summery) into the fall and winter with an html site.

So, I've reached a compromise. New html site in a different theme. It's such a great concept. Twin sites for a band that contains twin brothers. Both very different, and yet containing the same genetic information... just like the websites... sort of.

But what of the new idea? Oh, I'll tell you.

Now that the internet is starting to get older, the stone-age sites with straight html line after line after line, are all being replaced with flash, and the like. At least fancy CSS. So you could say that the website of 10 years ago, with it's 16 colors and blocky graphics (if any graphics at all) can now be considered retro...and EVERYONE knows that retro is very, very in right now. Because of nostalgia, I hopefully will be able to creat a super simple site with very little effort, that makes people think of their youth.

And I've said this before- never leave your youth in the car without first cracking a window.

So what retro computer fad makes me nostalgic? Answer: adventure games from lucasArts. Clearly the only company that ever did anything right in that area (I don't want to hear about King's Quest and Space Quest so just sit on it). More specifically, I love Monkey Island. My biggest nerd secret- that I always wanted to make a Monkey Island tribute website (I still might someday), but for the time being I am just going to settle with being inspired by early MI graphics, and developing my own band site. I think I'll draw us as if we were MI characters...piratey, maybe... which would work out so well considering our OTHER website has an island theme. Wow. Here's some examples for you in the dark, there.


Edward Gorey- look him up

Imagine that it's me, and instead of "school" it said "temporary job"...

No, I'm kidding. It's not so bad. But really, I am right in the middle of two potentially cool situations. On one side I could be living the life of a free-wheeling temp- on a day- off a day, meeting new people, being thrust into new situations with new challenges multiple times a week. On the other side there's permanent employment, safe, secure, lots of co-workers to befriend, and no worry about whether you have the money to pay for lunch out every day. Instead I am in the middle. Two weeks at the same job. No co-worker friends, no exciting assignments. Honestly, what I'm doing today was my own idea. How sad is that?

Pretty sad.

Edward Gorey is the man. I would like to find out more about him. This website makes it sound as if he is dead. It's a shame I can't 'IMDB' him to find out. I know that doesn't make sense...and yet it does. Oh, ok. He died in 2000.

As is the case with Ghostworld, I hold a special place in my heart for Gorey because a friend of mine said I drew like him. It is nice to not know about the people you are being compared to. Then you get to look them up and be pleasantly suprised.

I am getting this calendar when the time comes. You should too. Amazon also has 8 million books by the guy, and an awesome poster. Look it up.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

How to increase blog traffic

I've been wondering about how people do it- get many blog readers/subscribers. Maybe I don't understand, or have any idea because I do not actually read other people's blogs, myself. How hypocritical! How obnoxious! I guess I have to start somewhere. So here, I'm on a mission.

Five blogs I'm going to read, and what I think:

#1 -Youngest of One
This blog is written by my friend Will whom I met through a family picnic (his family). I was very lucky to be embraced by this wildy creative and uninhibited group of people, and his blog is no let-down. Right now Will is in the throws of student-dom, and being good at it. From the sounds of things, he doesn't have much to worry about. If you are feeling lethargic about your life in general, you should read this and remember that you too at one point had ambitions that you could still carry out if you just had a little more drive and imagination. Thanks for the inspiriation, buddy!

#2 Ann Regentin
Now, this blog I just found by clicking "next blog"... interesting. She seems to be some kind of errotic/romance writer. Hmm... not what I was looking for but ALSO not what I was expecting. This is a good lesson in the "how to get more readers" book- suprise the disinterested reader into stopping by for a bit of fun.

#3 English 3810:Advanced Composition
Well, next I looked up chiauas...the dogs... I have spelled the word wrong here, and I spelled it wrong when I searched it- google corrected me. Google is my secretary. Anyway, this blog was cute and "now" with witty dialogue about current fashion. I did, however become annoyed by some incorrect spelling and grammar. There is a lesson to be learned here. As eloquent as you may be, bad grammar and spelling make you look uneducated, or sloppy. I definitely need some help in this area.

#4 Fishing with john: Tom Waits and a Snapper in his pants
Next I searched all blogs for Tom Waits. Twas a good idea. I came upon this blog, which is a video. Another good lesson learned. People love videos, and thanks to the 'ole YouTube it's as easy as 1.2.3. It's also good to have some videos up for linking purposes. I have a nice camera, lots of time, and an adorable dog... why don't I make more videos? None of them would rival Tom Waits on a fishing trip, but it would be a start.

#5 My Sister's Kitchen
Lastly, I was making a chicken casserole (no one seems to do that) and I realized that I should have covered it when it was in the oven. But wait, then the breadcrumbs on top wouldn't have crisped, right? WRONG. First you cover so that the moisture is trapped inside and the breadcrumbs get good and hydrated- THEN you uncover so that they crisp into a newfound glory. Well I decided to search for casseroles on blogs, and this was probably one of the most rewarding searches. I think that blogs work the best when they are helpful, and share data with other people. That's really what this whole 'internet' thing is about, right? I suppose that makes my last lesson to remember and share what little useful information you might have (as long as your not a magician- magicians never share their secrets!)

Friday, September 22, 2006

chocolate pocky- For Men!

To understand the title you must know about pocky. There's not that much to know but it's sooooo much fun- can you say "HOORAY" for wacky Asian marketing?? I can.

Soo... I'm at work...trying to learn the difference between the sound of footsteps behind me as opposed to in front. Damn the visibility of my cubicle. And my conscience. Damn that too.

I have a whole entry saved somewhere about office-work and temping and jobs... but I guess it will have to wait. Instead I'll talk about embarassment.

So last night we go out to a comic book store (called Forbidden Planet- It gives you your commics in a black bag that has "FORBIDDEN PLANET" written accross the front so that everyone thinks you just bought porn!- {see a comic geek's guide to nyc}) And it's in the area of Rififi so I decide we should go get a drink and see if it's a different scene from Wednesdays (see previous posts). It IS different. We caught the very end of "Oh Hello" an act where two young men act like 2 older men ... a little bit like the like budda" Mike Myers days, but men. I looove this sort of thing so I was thrilled to catch 8 min of it. I had a shot of yaeger and a whisky sour. Mmm alcohol + my low tolerance! Things were gearing up to be awesome.

So after the show the bar was filling up with a very interesting type of people... Turns out it's because of the burlesque show they host on Thursdays. Now there's a show-watching area in the back of the bar- like it's own room- so needless to say I begin to wonder when I see them hanging a sheet up in the window (as if it would not be ok for people to see into the bar)

We're sitting in front of this sheet when one of the comedian performers walks by and stands by the window and just happens to be facing us. I wave (what did I say about low tolerance) and he waves and then comes over and introduces himself. How nice! So we're chatting and it's you live in the we're supers... Do you have a day job or is comedy it? Comedy has been "it" for 10 years (wow)... I'm going to tour with Demeitri Martin... He's got so many friends because of the Daily Show... etc. etc.

I'm sure this all sounds very nice, but I swear to god whenever I make a comment about anything it falls to the floor with a big fat thud. Oh, I can ask questions and start convos (which manage to sound dumb) but god forbid I end up making the closing statement on a subject, because it is awful. I wasn't so much embarassed for myself as I was for the people with me- I am sorry for them. When did I become the great conversation killer?

I will say it's not all my fault. I think the guy was tired. Because I don't really think we were trying to hard... Who knows, I've never really even befriended a stranger in a bar, let alone someone who you have that awkward relationship with because you know so much more about them than they do about you, and it's not likely to reverse EVER. But I think there were some decent statements that fell to the ground- we mentioned we were in a band a few times...*thunk*...But normally anyone would say "Oh? what kind of music do you play?" ... but no... not even pretend interest. So maybe it wasn't just me.

The one funny moment was when a scantily clad lady said "excuse me, I have to get up there" and kind of kicked us off the large window sill we were sitting on. Comedian Leo joked "Excuse me, I have to dance naked where your sitting"... Then realized that this was exactly what she was planning on doing... He was like, holy shit- i thought I was kidding.

Ah well. Should I plug something? How about a good movie about awkward moments? Lets think...

Oh *F* movies. I just bought shoes the other days...heart my sketchers. THE END.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Welcome to Good Burger

home of the good burger
can I take your order?

This is why netflix is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

Because I've always wished that I could see Goodburger. And now I can. And now I DID!

He's trying to tell us that there are four clowns and their stuck somewhere because their car broke down!


I don't know how to say this...
-Oh it's easy! Just say "Thiiiiiiiisss"

*What do you think is cute about me?
~You're head!
*You have a cute head too!
~Haha, well, I try to keep it nice.


Naw, man...stuff like that's gotta be ILlegal!


I'm a dude!
He's a dude!
She's a dude!
We're all dudes! Hey!

And now presenting- Good Burger, the un-answered questions:
#1: In the scene where the Good Burger crew's electricity has been cut, and they're sitting sadly in the dark, why is manager Bailey holding a guitar?
#2: Why does the Good Burger have a picture of a submarine (sandwich) on their wall? Did they go through that awkward phase where they try to sell "healthy" food like Arby's and Wendy's?
#3: Does a Good Shake involve milk, or is it more like a Slurpee?

I'd like to add more and more questions to this list. Feel free to add your own.

from Ghost World to Lagaan

Oh movies. I love 'em.

Have you ever seen Ghost World? If you haven't, you should. Maybe I have a special love of it because TWICE in one day people I had just met said- "Have you seen Ghost World? You're JUST like the Ghost World girl." One of them even said "except smaller"... nice...

Basically it's about people who are bitter about the mainstream, and have decided to forgo higher education to pursue... something else. Mostly just trying not to be around the mainstream. But then one of them begins to lose the intensity of her non-mainstream-ness while the other spirals even farther into the weird, demented, and "lame"est of interests. She does this by befriending Steve Buscemi- which is how I imagine anyone would. I must say that I love this movie 100% of the time, but I'm only in the mood to watch it 50% of the time. Maybe it hits a little tooo close to home.

But I bring Ghost World up because in the beginning of the film. It shows Enid (the main character) watching a totally random 1960's Indian rock video. It's awesome. This always made me jealous that people in movies (and who write movies) have all these really select interests and hobbies that I would not even know how to start pursuing. Luckily I went to film school (which really didn't help as much as you might think). However, thanks to my love of choppy dancing and lack of anything better to do, I showed up (with my Ghostworld-y roomate) to see a 4 hr screening of Lagaan.

Oh man it was AWESOME! Bollywood is the bomb, everyone. Just thought you should know. Yes it can be long. Yes it follows the classic format of a Hollywood musical (i.e. story stops when singing starts) but for some reason it's still just heavenly. It also has an award winning soundtrack.

Brief Synopsis:
Set in the middle of India in the past (as in, when the British were all up in India's piece) It tells the story of a little villiage that cannot afford to pay their taxes ("lagaan") because of a sever drought- when the Lagaan is all of the sudden doubled! It's doubled by an asshole called Russel who gets his kicks from hunting, and playing mind games with his Hindi associates (as in "Hey, I'll do what you ask, if you eat some meat...just eat it... it's just a little meat... screw your religion and just eat the meat...) ASShole! So Russel, in all his ass-holiness, gets offeneded when Buvhan (the oh-so-sexy hero) calls the game of Cricket "silly and stupid." He says that if the village pulls together a team and beats them in a game of Cricket, he'll forgive them the Lagaan for THREE YEARS- but if they lose, they have to pay thrice as much! Oh, and Russel has a sister who falls for Buvhan, teaches the village the game of Cricket, and helps to form a weak love triangle- but you are totally rooting for the cute Hindi girl the whole time (even though she's a little jealous).

A brief synopsial Haiku (for those who thought my synopsis was not "brief" enough)

A village in need
Bitish asshole crickiteer
happy ending-duh!

So whether you like offbeat films or just films about people who like offbeat films, one of the movies I mentioned today IS for YOU!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Com-e-dy! assault and battery!

So we've been going to see stand-up and that makes us feel like REAL hip, young New Yorker's for sure. Luckily, it's also amusing as hell, and cheap! We go to a bar called Rififi because I read about it on Eugene Mirman's website . I heard about his website when he shamelessly plugged it during the commentary on my Home Movies DVD.

Are we seeing how amazing this technological time we're living in is??

So here are some features of the show that make it endearing and worth seeing EVEN WHEN the comedians are a bomb (which they have not yet been)
Feature #1. When host Bobby Tisdale feels that energy is low, he has the sound guy blast Kelly Clarkson's new song (which he loves) and then he blows a fireball using 151.
Feature #2. Eugene Mirman often brings videos to show, which, if you do not live in the NYC area and are sad you might never see them, can also be found on YouTube.
Feature #3. They all stay after the show and get bombed! So let's say you're a little shy but you just wish you could stay and hang out with all these incredibly cool commedians... As long as you have money for drinks, you CAN stay after the show and hang out with all these incredibly cool comedians... AND the place is so small, you'll probably end up spilling your drink on one of them! (History shows there is no better method of instigating friendship with a complete stranger, than bumping into them with an alcoholic beverage)

Anyway, the show on Wednesdays is called "Invite them Up!" and they sell a CD (which I'd like to one day purchase). It's got all their greatest little biddies so far. Perhaps if 12.5 of you buy the CD through me, I can then use the Amazon gift certificate I am getting paid in to purchase the CD for myself!

Either way, you should come down to Rififi (11th St. between 1st and 2nd) and holla at all the great comedians and well-made (but not cheap) drinks.

Sorry about the excessive store-ness. But I own ALL these DVD seasons of Home Movies, and occasionally depending on the week, etc, etc, THEY MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING!

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Back in business

I've decided to turn the blog into a bookstore as well. That-a-way I can share oh so much more with my devoted blog audience (devoted blog audience count is currently at 0).

Todays promo: Iron West

Three reasons this is a cool thing to have
#1- It's a graphic novel. In a lot of circles graphic novels have begun to pop up on bookshelves and coffee tables. It's fun to start your conversation about your graphic novels by saying "I don't actually read comics, but this one is different..."
#2- It was written by the creator of Earthworm Jim. You should already know who and what that is, and why it's cool.
#3- It's quite amusing...It's the first comic I have appreciated in black and white. I've even resisted the urge to color it in! (so far)

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

6 Reasons NOT to start a rock band

So, you’ve probably been thinking about the popular music scene, and secretly or subconsciously envying the boys and girls who happen to be God’s gift to the world this week. Yes, you’ve seen them on VH1 or MTV2 or Steve’s too-lazy-to-think-of-a-name rock show, and you’ve heard them talk about how “great” their fans are and how “awesome” it is to feed off the energy of the totally psyched crowd of sixteen-year-old girls, who maxed out daddy’s credit card just to get to the front row of a televised live performance. By all means, envy away. Turn green. Lip-sync karaoke style alone in your room wearing your mom’s vintage leather pants and pretend the screaming teens are yelling YOUR name. Whatever you do, please...pleasepleasepleasplease do not start a rock band.

#1 reason you should not start a rock band: You do not play any musical instruments. (If you DO play a musical instrument -a bandworthy one- piccolo or trombone do NOT count- please skip to reason #2). What exactly are you going to do for this band...sing? Are you a good singer? Oh you’re a GREAT singer? You were Oliver when you were only six years old in the local theatre group’s hodgepodge production? Buzzzzz. WRONG ANSWER. One thing the music world does not need is more theatre kids. Turn on a music video station and suffer through twenty minutes or so. See the kids who are singing directly into the camera with their big fat faces taking up the entire screen? THOSE are theatre kids. I don’t care if they never actually participated in theatre activities when they were younger. They were probably aware of how un-cool that can come off. But now that some misguided soul has thrown a bunch of money their way so that they can strut their creative genius in a new medium, they’ve decided that the it’s best spent documenting how well the makeup artist can disguise their gaping, greasy, rockstar pores. If you have a deep genuine desire to sing- join a choir. There is just not room for one more big fat singing face on Steve’s little emo show.

#2 reason: You are not very good at your instrument. (If you ARE undeniably good at your instrument, skip to reason #3). Yeah so you play the bass guitar “a little”? Who freakin’ doesn’t? It has four strings and you only have to play one note at a time. Technically speaking, my arthritic grandmother could claim honestly that she plays the bass guitar a little. If you cannot actually sound decent playing an instrument by yourself, what are you expecting to get out of playing with two or three other musicians who are equally as bad (because seriously, you seem to be magnetically drawn to people with the same amount of ability as yourself)? If you want to be in a band where you plan on being drowned out then your desires stem from A.)The need to have your big fat face fill up a screen of some sort (see reason #1) or B.)The need to get the girls (more on them in #4).

#3 reason: Your songs are about as predictable and trite as (__enter pop culture reference here___). If it’s all about the heartfelt lyrics that you’ve delved from the bottom of your tortured suburban soul, then your lyrics are too sappy. If it’s all about the upbeat hooky music then all your songs all sound alike. If it’s a subtle combination of the two then all your songs sound sappily alike. I cannot argue with you about this because the human mind has recently evolved itself an elaborate defense mechanism that does not allow similarities in songwriting to be heard by the songwriter him/or herself. Go out and test this theory on a fellow songwriter, and cry like a small boy at the circus when you realize I’m right.

#4 reason: You will not get girls the way Motorhead talks about getting girls. Oh, you will get girls, and then you will get- arrested. Have you scoped out the chicks who are screaming in the front rows of these shows? These hormonally raging minors are your bread and butter, but will have to be content raping only their wallets (it’s mommy and daddy’s money anyway so it’s not considered statutory). And good luck getting the legal ass to fight its way through that pack of hyenas. The cool girls are too sophisticated to get tangled up in that mess- PLUS they just recently acquired over 21 IDs so they like to stay in the back, close to the bar. And you thought alcohol was your friend. Hello amazing segue!

#5 : Drugs and alcohol are WAY too expensive to have on tour. You think you’re going to keep your creative stimuli really pumping on the road by boozing it up and forgetting most of where you’ve gone, but unless you have some rich uncle funding your tour- good luck. The price of gas will slim you down and sober you up in no time. Is it a coincidence that strait edge bands are so political? I think not. They are a bitter, bitter lot. Which leads me to my next reason...

#6 : Your music will not change the course of politics. Yes, you can probably get a bunch of kids to go out and march with some activists in Central Park some Saturday this summer (and I don’t blame you for trying because the fifteen-year-old girls look pretty good in those strappy tank tops),but unless you could manage to book a show at your local firehouse or post-office on November 5th, I’m pretty sure that most of your biggest fans are still too cool to vote. Is this because the media is constantly making political issues seem beyond the grasp of the normal young person’s comprehension? Is it because the band always starts playing off their favorite rock/pop/movie star idol just before their “we have to save the world” speech gets to the part that tells us what to actually do? Is it because political activism is put on such a high pedestal in their minds that if they don’t fully immerse themselves in local as well as national politics they feel too unworthy to cast their ballots? Is it because of an unfounded, perhaps subliminally distributed, notion that voting is something that takes place early in the morning ? Hmm. I smell a conspiracy theory. But getting back to the point- please just erase “Bush sucks ass” from your set list so that we can hear the real gems of your collection- “I want you back,” “I like your butt”, and “please call me” even sooner.

I think I’ve made a pretty decent case for why we should completely cease inventing new rock groups, no matter how quirky or British they might be. I didn’t even have to bring up the fact that MySpace has practically crashed the internet while heralding the coming of at least seventeen thousand one hit wonders who will never even be signed to a label because their seemingly-impressive fan base is a thinly dispersed group of friend-whores who are lying about even being sixteen. I didn’t have to... but I couldn’t resist. So TIVO your favorite band’s performance, turn up the volume, don the vintage leather, and go at it. This may be as good as it gets. At least you still have time to pursue sex and money for drugs.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

college and why it is important not to blow it

I just realized that I wasted three and a half years on the wrong bachelor's degree. I could have studied ANYTHING I wanted and I chose a BULLSHIT major that came with VERY LITTLE TECHNICAL KNOWLEDGE. This makes me very upset.

I want to go back to school. I don't know how all the obnoxious 40 year olds do it because I already feel too old. PLUS I have bachelor's already so who the hell is going to pay for this??

On to write a screenplay. Every film student's answer to depression and hopelessness.

Things my screenplay could be about:
A movie theatre
A dance studio
A band
A group of aimless friends
People graduationg college and wasting their lives
A restaurant
Rich fucking bastards
Nice rich people
A big manor full of crazy British people
An artistic getaway

I like the last idea... only because I thought of it before now and there's a lot more in my head than those three words. But God forbid the one time I have a decent idea I crap it away by sharing it on the internet! I'm off to a less public word processor.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Yes, you can BUY love

Our band (Friends in Need of) buckled down and bought a "pure-promo" (for $350) and now just because we're on the front page of we get over a thousand plays a day. It kind of makes me sad, but I hope that even when we're taken off we'll still do a hell of a lot better than we had been doing (try 12 plays a day being an exciting high). When we're not on the homepage anymore people will have to go to to hear us.

I just realized that I have been claiming unemployment since November 28, 2005 and I have yet to receive a dime from them. Something is wrong.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Best overheard thing today

My brother's girlfriend yelling at him about eating six tacos the night before...
"SIX TACOS? wha-? We're going to be like that couple... That... couple... You're going to be the UPS guy and I'm going to be the hot mama."

In the hole

I owe:

American Educational services...............$16,119.75
Sallie Mae...................................$2,896.84
Bank of America..............................$3,176.93
Capital One..................................$1,809.28
January's Rent.................................$400.00


Hey, that's not so bad... that's what most kids come out of college owing, I think. Sometimes even more.

The debts I should pay off ASAP- All credit cards-

Can anyone loan me $6,000?

Today my blinker finally shorted

Today my blinker finally shorted out the rest of my car. It had, up until this point only fuzzed out the radio when it clicked (left signal only)...but this morning, she was dead.

I'm going to calculate the full amount of debt I owe to everyone as I start out 2006.

Then I am going to inter-library loan a book I saw in Barnes & Nobles called Astro Fit by Dr. William J. Evans.
(don't buy it yet, I haven't read it- it could suck)