Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Mom called - she says she wants you to blog more

I had to stop my Gmail from forwarding to my Blackberry because of my mother's nagging. Now she wants me to get a Twitter account. Who does she think I am? Does she think I'm still in college or something? I'm way too busy ....working.

On the topic of Blackberries - Handy little things they are. They are helpful. You never have to leave the Internet behind. The let you turn ANY mp3 into a ring tone. That fact in itself makes them more selfless than any phone I've ever met. But you know what's not amazing? Keypad locks. They are so annoying. Why can't my blackberry just KNOW that it's in my pocket, or in the hands of a small child, or under a blanket being laid on by an obese pet?

Wishful thinking. The real question is, why did I delude myself into thinking that my little Pearl was that smart? It certainly got me into a predicament.

After spending the winter holiday with my boyfriend AND his twin brother AS WELL AS everyone we know within 50 miles of our home, I was beginning to get a little testy. There's really only so many days I can handle indoors sharing Christmas joy and holiday spirit with at least two other people. I try constantly to draw the line at the boyfriend, but he is unfortunately a packaged deal.

So after a day of gallivanting with a girlfriend... and my boyfriend and his twin brother. I am absolutely FED UP with banter. I am craving the presence of only one person. Any one person will do (except my boyfriend's twin), as long as it's in the singular. One.

I offer to drive my girlfriend home after one of the boys interjects with a fart noise. I am at my limit. We hop in the car while impressing each other with the fact that we know the words to Hello Dolly (NO the fart noise was NOT justified!). I plunk little Pearly on the dash an pull out of the driveway. Not 30 seconds down the road I unleash a tirade of pent up rage, all directed at my boyfriend's twin.

He can never leave us alone, everyone thinks he's a weirdo, blah blah blah, why can't he live his own life, blah blah blah, mean mean mean, his only girlfriends have been losers, blah blah blah.

My friend interjects playfully, probably trying to lead the conversation in a more lighthearted direction. I will have none of it. I cut her off. "And another thing...!"

In the middle of a story about the twin and a priest my Blackberry screen lights up on the dash. I pick it up. It says that my call to *Boyfriend's Twin* has been disconnected. I don't even flinch. "Thanks a lot for calling and hanging up, man!"

Ten minutes down the road my boyfriend calls. "Hi. Um. Did you just leave a three and a half minute voice mail on *My Twin*'s phone sh%$ talking him the whole time?"

Wha wha whaat? Um... (my mind flashes back to the "call disconnected" message). Yes. Yes, I probably did. What of it? Everyone needs to blow off a little steam sometime?

I guess the people that successfully blow off steam don't usually call the people they're complaining about to document the event.

There was the brief mystery of WHY my phone called him, of all people. But that was explained by my boyfriend, who used my phone to call his brother whilst I was in the mall with my girlfriend. Why not? He'd only spent the whole day with they guy. The whole last 3-4 weeks, actually. But yeah. Go ahead and use my phone to call him.

But I guess there's really no excuse. The god's of cellular were frowning on me and my bitter ways. I made no apologies, because "sorry my phone called you by itself while I just happened to be expressing negative feelings about you" just didn't seem like it would fix anything.

So I am now a member of the key lock club. You know us. The ones making emergency calls while our phones are in our pockets. At least I don't know any 911 operators, so I'm in the clear.

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